The kids go on a field trip to Pioneer Village, "Where History Comes Alive", a recreation of early Colorado days. They're greeted by "Pioneer Paul" who's way into character. Mr. Garrison tells everyone to pick a partner to hold hands with and Cartman is left with Butters. Garrison tells Butters that he's not to let go of Eric's hand until they're back on the bus. The kids visit the different sections of the village, all manned by over-enthusiastic actors (just like a Renaissance Fest!) Stan calls Wendy his "girlfriend" - how cute! Kyle points out that one of the "villagers" is wearing a digital watch. The kids visit the town gunsmith, who points out holes in the fence they used to shoot Indians through. Everyone heads off to other areas, while Cartman and Butters stay behind. Cartman looks through one of the holes and sees "Super Phun Time", a Dave and Busters-esque place. Cartman tells Butters that they should go play some video games. Butters refuses, fearing he will get in trouble - but he also won't let go of Cartman's hand. Cartman drags him away. The rest of the kids visit the General Store. Wendy points out that they even had beef jerky "back then". The characters remind everyone that it's 1864. Then some police cars drive by with sirens blaring, ruining the illusion.

Stan's mother has a heck of a time getting Stan and Shelly off of the Internet and off to bed. She even has a harder time getting Randy off of the computer. She tells him he can do "one more thing" before bed, so, of clourse, Randy visits a porn site. The next morning, everyone is shocked to discover that the Internet's not working. It's not working anywhere in South Park. Everyone's panicking. Everyone makes a pilgrimage to Starbucks and the Mac store and there's simply no Internet anywhere. They don't know where they can turn to find out what's going on, until Randy yelled, "television!" Unfortunately, the news can't report anything because they have no Internet either. It's statewide...and could be nationwide.

Mrs. Garrison is having a breakdown in front of the class. He saw the pregnant man on television, which prompted his crying jag. He still feels like a man and admits the sex change was a big mistake. His doctor said he couldn't go back to being a man, because his penis was gone. Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey tell him that he shouldn't teach again until he takes care of his personal problems. Principal Victoria then asks the class if anyone would like to lead the class in a pre-quiz review. Cartman falls all over himself and is the only volunteer, so reluctantly, Principal Victoria turns the class over to him. As Cartman leads the class, the expression "drunk with power" comes to mind.

It's Canada Appreciation Day at South Park Elementary. Mr. Mackey assembles the kids and shows them a video from the World Canadian Bureau. The video features the bureau's head Steven Abootman talking about the impotance of Canada - and asks all of the children from Canada to stand up. Of course, Ike is the only one to stand up. No oone is taking the video seriously, cracking jokes. Steven Abootman must have gotten this response from a lot of places, as he spoke out in front of a group of Canadians telling them that Canada Appreciation Day was mocked worldwide. Steven decides Canada should go on stike, which leads into a musical number, called "Canada on Strike".

There's a new craze at South Park Elementary, kids are killing themselves by choking themselves in order to get high. Mr. Mackey says plaing the "choking game" is bad...mmmmkay? He tells the kids that there's lots of ways to get high, like sniffing glue, chugging cough medicine and huffing paint. Butters says he heard that ou can get high from cat urine and Mr. Mackey corrects him by telling him that it's actually the spray that male cats use to mark their territory. It can get you "really, really high."

Stan's Dad is trying to get the kids interested in politics, making them watch the debates between Obama and Hilary. Obama is about to deliver his position on military spending when breaking news interrupts. It's 'Britney Watch'. Stan's dad is even more interested in Britney news than the debates. Brit was camping in the woods in Colorado and the anchor was more than happy to report that she was caught taking a piss in the forest. They showed photos of her peeing on a ladybug - parts of the picture were "blurred so they wouldn't offend", the blurred parts being most of Britney's face. They even enhanced the photo to see the ladybug being doused, as well as Britney's zits. The photographer got $100K for the picture, which Cartman remarked was "enough to buy slaves." The anchor said Brit was hiding out in a motel in South Park, before returning to the debate - which cut in as Hillary said"...and spearchuckers."

Wow, this new season completely snuck up on me. I guess I don't watch Comedy Central as much as I used to! South Park is back. Cartman has to get a tonsillectomy. He doesn't want to go to the hospital, but when he hears there's ice cream, he's all for the surgery. Post-op, Cartman is feeling fine and is waiting for his ice cream - unfortunately it's not to be, the doctor "accidentally" infected Cartman with the AIDS virus. He got a bad blood transfusion. Understandably, Cartman's pissed, he even passes up his ice cream.

Butters finds out that the girls have written up a list which ranks all of the 4th grade boys from cutest to ugliest. The list is top secret - the girls are the only ones with access to it. Stan wondered if they judged on personality as well as looks. Kyle said he didn't care as the girls made lists all of the time. Cartman agrees, but Craig said he "doesn't care" because he knows he's last on the list. He's not worried as he knows the girls know that "I'm not fat, I'm buff." He also thinks Kenny's at the bottom of the list because he's poor and "girls don't want to eat Pop Tarts for dinner every night when they get married." Butters is afraid to be at the bottom of the list because if he is, he'll be grounded. Do they really care? Of course they do.

The boys of South Park have discovered "Guitar Hero" and are jamming to Kansas' "Carry On Wayward Son." Stan and Kyle are proving to be quite proficient at it. Stan's dad tries to make playing a real guitar look cool by playing the same riff on his guitar. The kids aren't impressed. Cartman says "Real guitars are for old people" and Randy walks away, dejected. Later that night, Randy sneaks out of bed and tries to play the video game - and sucks.

The final battle between good and evil in Imaginationland is about to unfold and all of the good characters are arming themselves (this week's cameos include Capatin Planet, Holly Hobbie and a smurf.) The only hope for Imaginataionland is the chosen one, Butters. He has a special power in Imaginationland that he has yet to understand. Meanwhile, back at the Pentagon, Al Gore watches the video of last week's attack and recognizes the "man-bear-pig" (and my husband had me convinced it was the bear-like creature from "Prophecy.") He's glad he's been proven right and the American people need to know about it, so he "flies" off (he's wearing a Superman cape and making flying noises with his mouth.)