It's a new day in the skankery and Inna's feeling bummed that she and Bret's connection (drink) isn't as strong as it once was. She finds Bret outside by the pool to talk to him. She tells him it's hard for her to watch him tring to make a connection (drink) with the other girls in the house. Bret sympathizes with her but tells her that he needs to get to know the other girls in the house as well. In the "Bret-fessional" he admits that Inna was his girl from the start because he liked her boobs energy and attitude, but that she's been slipping away recently. Inna tells Bret her feelings are getting involved. Bret tells her she just needs her to step up to the plate.

Did anyone see the "ROL" skit on Saturday's "SNL"? Tina Fey made a very convincing Daisy, I must say - and the girl who played Peyton kept yelling "face time!", so if you see that come up in this recap, that's what it's from. So, anyway, another day dawns on the skankery and Bret makes the rounds waking the ladies up. Peyton is worried that 2 ladies are heading home on this episode, and she's got a pretty good chance at being one of them ('cause she hasn't gotten any "face time!") Big John assembles the gals in the living room for their note from Bret. Peyton reads it - it's time for the gals to appeal to Bret's inner "country boy." Catherine is psyched about the challenge because she's been around horses all her life, she's barrel raced since she was a kid, blah, blah, blah. Didn't she say she was really good with motorcycles and lost that challenge? Well, I guess positivity is a good thing! The gals put on their cowboy boots and meet Bret at the challenge site. Bret says there's still a "lot of country in this long (artificially) haired rocker boy." Sure there is - he's just keeping his name out there if they decide to do another season of "Nashville Star."

The morning after last week's embarassing elimination (well, embarassing if you're Aubry), the ladies (Kristy Joe is feeling invested, Peyton knows she needs to step it up - and soon) are woken up by Big John and get their note from Bret. He tells them they're going to have a "fun-filled" day and punctuates the statement with an evil laugh. Uh-oh. Jessica reads the note, which tells the girls thatr they'd better be ready to get down and dirty. Catherine says she's not afraid to get dirty because she's from Montana and has been getting dirty her whole life. The ladies grab their gear - a sports bra, tennies and socks. Daisy is the only dummy who can't figure out they're going to play football. She's looking for helmets and shoulder pads. Pussy. The gals suit up and get in the limo. Yep, it's Bret's Mud Bowl II. Daisy's now worried. Bret breaks the ladies into teams. The winning team gets a date with Bret and the MVP gets a solo date. The team captains pick 3 other girls, one gal has to sit out - with no chance of a date. Bret says that where he;s from, Pittsburgh, football is played in all sorts of adverse conditions, so he (with the help of Big John) is playing God, bringing on rain, (soapy) snow and wind. 

Daisy reminds us that we're now down to 10 girls, and Kristy Joe is thinking that she may actually have a chance with Bret. Bret and the remaining ladies went about "making bacon" - which, from as far as I could see basically meant drinking - and then Bret retired to his room, kissing every lady goodnight except horse-face Aubry, who was really miffed about the whole thing. Daisy is "really feeling" Bret and asks if she can walk him to his room and joins him inside. Bret wants to "really know" Daisy, and he sure seems to be getting to know the inside of her mouth - and most likely her esophagus - as they make out. Aubry is feeling unloved and neglected, and she spends some quality time in the pool venting about her feelings to Kristy Joe. For some unkinown reason, KJ is having difficulty grasping the concept that Bret is probably having his way with Daisy in his room, especially because they've been in his room for hours. I can't imagine what could possibly be going through germaphobe KJ's head right now. She admits she's got "jealous feelings." Totally not what I thought she'd say.

Roxy is nervous, she doesn't know what Bret's looking for and just needs a second to make a connection (drink) with Bret. Fortunately for her, she's still got the VIP pass she won during last week's dance-off. Big John calls the gals into the living room with another note from Bret, which Megan reads as if she were auditioning to play the lead in "The Paris Hilton Story." I can't stand her. The note says that Bret needs a girl who's not only "sweet and classy", but "tough and sassy" and the girls are going to have to "roll with the punches" to "protect our love." Megan hopes the challenge doesn't have anything to do with "athleticness...because I don't have any." Let's hope for your sake, it doesn't involve grammar.

It's the morning after the eliminations and the drunk Courtney is still in the house. Peyton happened to be in the room when Courtney came-to, and had to give her the bad news. Her reaction, "That sucks." She does think that Bret's probably better off without a "Blackout drunk girl." Ya think? Sara has informed her roomies that she didn't tell her folks that she was doing the show and then admitted she did the whole thing as a dare. Inna's pissed, and wants Bret to know. She told Aubry, because she hoped she'd open her big mouth in front of Bret. Of course, Aubry couldn't wait to rat Sara out to Bret. She heads over to Bret, who's tossing a football around with Big John. She asks him what he's looking for in a woman and leads him with "honesty, sincerity..." Bret goes with "physical attraction and chemistry." He says there needs to be some sort of honesty somewhere down the line, but it really doesn't seem that important to old Bret. Aubry tells Bret about Sara and he doesn't really freak - he says relationships can form by accident. Bret thinks Aubry could be strategizing to get Bret and doesn't quite know whether to believe her or not. Come on, Bret - do these girls looks smart enough to strategize?

I am absolutely giddy about the season premiere of my all-time favorite "reality" show! It's time for our boy, Poison frontman and bandana aficionado, Bret Michaels to find a new f-buddy true love one more time. As you may know, Bret was heartbroken after losing last season's winner, the way too young for him Jes, so VH-1 assembled a new collection of equally too young for him gals (well, some of them are more age-appropriate this season, more on that later) for another chance for Bret to make a "connection" (if you're playing the "ROL2 Drinking Game", it is one drink every time you hear that word!) So, bring on the skanks!

I have been waiting for this all week, but it's a melancholy anticipation, as it marks the end of one of the best "Celebreality" shows on VH-1. Ever. The moderator for tonight's festivities is former "Headbangers' Ball" host Riki Rachtman (much better than KiKi or CoCo or whatever her name was from the "Flavor of Love" reunions.) All of the girls are back (including the 4 that were kicked off in the first 5 minutes of the first episode) and of course, the man, the myth, the legend - single-handedly keeping the bandana in the public eye - it's Bret Michaels. Bret says the girls, not him, "made the show" (you know damn well they did.) So, as with previous reunions, let the fond memories and clips begin...

Well, Bret has whittled the disease-ridden pool of lovely ladies vying for his affections to 2 (and I don't think Bret even gave them a name like the "Terrible Two" or "One of You Will Probably Get Your Own Spin-off on VH-1") - the lovely, young, guarded Jes and stripper, hair mousse abuser, bad girl Heather. As the episode opens, the ladies are packing and getting ready for their trip to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, where Bret will spend his last bedroom quality time with the ladies and make the decision of who will permanently "rock his world." Jes thinks Heather's in for a "rude awakening" Heather is positive she's got her man, but, just in case, the "claws are coming out". Bret thinks this is going to be an "extremely rough decision."

Unfortunately, we only get to spend 30 minutes in the skankery this week. I'm sure VH-1 has enough great outtakes from this bunch to fill a few hours, maybe we'll see more on the (inevitable) DVD set. So anyway, Bret (is that new hair? It sure looks like it) leads us through some "never before seen" footage of the gals. One of Bret's "favorite dates" on the show was the visit to the recording studio with "circus boobs" Erin, crazy Lacey and "crazy grandma" Rodeo. He had the ladies help him out with a special song on his new album. Yes, he actually had a track on his album called "Butt Bongo" (which I'm sure didn't make the final cut. Or Don Was is a crap-tacular producer.) The ladies first get to play Bret's heinie and then he returns the favor. At one point, he says "Hot nasty monkey love" for no apparent reason. Bret said he wanted to add something a bit "organtic" to the track (yes, he did say "organtic.") All was going well until Rodeo pooted. Ewww....cue crazy grandma laughing. I miss crazy grandma.