We could probably also call this episode "Everybody Hates Macaroni", as it's the desire to not make a Mother's Day gift out of the cursed pasta that gets Chris into trouble this week.

Tonya joins a music club (remember those?) so she can spend a penny on a Patti LaBelle record for Rochelle, and seven Billy Ocean records for herself. Julius busts her when the real bill comes in, but she can keep the records as long as she does more chores.

Chris doesn't see the point in attending the ninth grade dance, which promises to be nothing more than a room of people hating him while dancing. Narrator Chris thinks they could film it for a tv show called "Dancing With The Bigots" (ha!), though Greg is more helpful -- there aren't enough jocks to take all the girls, so there have to be girls left over to be their dates, right?

Chris is 16, and tired of being a nerd. Trouble is, he can't find another persona to assume. Surfer dude? Super hero? Cowboy? None of these work, though I'm not sure if it's Chris of the choice of background music -- New Kids On The Block's "You Got It (The Right Stuff)". I mean, who can be cool when NKOTB is playing?

The path to cool starts with a pack of cigarettes, which Chris secretly buys at Doc's. Though Greg is happy to join Chris in tucking one behind his ear at school, he sells Chris out when Ms. Morello busts him. Chris gets a three-day suspension -- no trouble from the parents, as Tonya took the call from the school principal. $15 later, Chris's secret is safe with her.

It's Earth Day, and the kids at Corleone Jr. High devise their own projects to promote and save the environment. While Greg's idea for a solar powered-tanning bed is impressive, I bet Chris's proposal to collect aluminum cans and recycle will be just as effective. Just as long as Julius and his truck can be enlisted for the cause.

Julius is in as long as Rochelle can abstain from yelling. Julius bets her $5 that she can't can't yell for a whole week after Tonya gets in trouble for yelling at a classmate. I guess the yelling apple doesn't fall far from the yelling tree. Drew is working on making a potato-powered clock while Chris has trouble getting Julius to commit to his commitment.

Everybody's favorite ex-con, Malvo, is out of prison. He's looking for Chris -- not to get back at Chris for sending him away in the first place. Malvo is interested in turning his life around, and the first step is getting into high school. Not breaking in, but enrolling. As the smartest kid he knows, Chris could tutor him. When Chris asks Malvo why he wouldn't rather just get a GED, Malvo looks askance:

Chris needs $200 for Run-D.M.C. tickets. He applies and gets Mr. Omar's BFD scholarship -- that's Black Funeral Directors, y'all. The scholarship is worth $250, but isn't payable, so Chris still has to borrow $100 to pay for his ticket (with Greg paying for the other). While Chris thinks he is on his way to getting paid, Mr. Omar sees Chris as underpaid child labor. Also, it appears that other funeral directors are just as popular with the ladies (read: widows) as he is.

Chris is tired of being responsible for every thing Drew and Tanya do. But that doesn't mean he can give up on Drew when Drew decides to skip school so he can get Wayne Gretzky's autograph. Wayne was just on Donohue, and Drew has figured that Wayne must be at the hotel where all of Donohue's guests are usually put up. Rather than let Drew go by himself, Chris accompanies him on his journey, though he has no money, and no idea of how to find the hockey player.

Easter is Chris's favorite holiday. The girls are dressed up, he's dressed up, and it's the perfect time to pretend he's on a date with Tasha. Only his dream becomes reality when Tasha and her boyfriend Robert break up, leaving Tasha escort-less for the Easter pageant at their church. As Chris just happens to be there when the fight occurs -- well, it did happen at Doc's -- Tasha asks him. Greg thinks it's kinda weird that Chris or anybody would need a date for church, but Chris retorts that's less weird than never having a date at all.

It's Christmastime in Bed-Stuy and Chris's ignorant teacher decides to give the class a Christmas present: an assignment! Awwww! Oh, but wait... It's not a reading or writing assignment! Woo hoo! It's a random act of kindness assignment! Chris thinks about working at a soup kitchen, but quickly finds that all the white people have snapped up those jobs. On his way out of the soup kitchen, he runs into Kill Moves, the show's resident homeless crazy person. Or is it the show's resident crazy homeless person. Oh shucks! I think it's supposed to be the show's resident mentally ill homeless person. Sigh... Anyway, Chris decides to make Kill Moves his own personal charity project. As he says, Kill Moves is a "Daily Double": a crazy guy and a homeless person wrapped up in one! Merry Christmas!

Guess who's coming to Corleone? Another black student, much to Chris's delight and Greg's disappointment. Chris is stoked because he's finally got a pal to whom he can relate. It's a hard gig being the token black kid in a white bread school - now we know how Chris Rock became Chris Rock. Greg, on the other hand, is jealous of Chris's new friend. He knows he can't compete with Albert. Ahhh, so this is how Vanilla Ice got his start. Sadly, I can totally relate to Greg. I always had the friend who ditched me as soon as a better offer came along. It sucks to be the Pepsi. Or the 7-Up, which I actually prefer to Sprite.