Lost: "Because You Left/The Lie" - Episode 501

Hey, everyone. No, this isn't a full recap (that would take entirely too much of my unpaid time), but merely a brainfart or two to get some discussion going on this week's episode of 'Lost'. It might be only with myself, but for now, that's just fine. Alright, here we go. More 'Lost' after the jump...

So where exactly did the island go? Not in time, mind you, but in space. The actual geographic location of the island, I mean. Well, here's a thought - remember down in the Orchid station when Locke was watching the orientation video? Well, if you paid attention, it said that when the rabbit test subjects were subjected to the tests that moved them 10 milliseconds through time, it would appear for a moment as if they had disappeared. Well, I think that's what happened to the island, too. Jack and his crew up in the helicopter thought they saw the island disappear completely, but what if they actually didn't? Maybe the island subjected itself to the same kind of time-shifting that the Dharma people were testing on those rabbits, and as a result of that shift, it 'disappeared'. I'm not saying that the island doesn't move geographically, as it very obviously does. Remember when we saw Yemi's plane crash on the island as a time-displaced Locke watched it go by? Well, that plane took off from Africa, so at that moment in time, the island was located somewhere in that general vicinity. A tiny little plane like that wouldn't be able to make it all the way out to the South Pacific on its own from Africa, would it?

Speaking of islands magically appearing in random places all over the globe, wouldn't that kind of explain how the Black Rock got so far inland on the island? Land ho!

Why do the Oceanic 6 really need to come back? Well, one of two theories are running around in my brain. First, those six people need to be on the island for whatever reason so that time itself can play out as it is supposed to. Second, the Oceanic Six are the island's constants. Pick and choose either one of those you like.

I called this last season, but that baby we saw with Marvin Candle/Pierre Cheng/whatever the hell that man's name is has GOT to be Miles Straum. It HAS to be. And no, not only because he's Asian. Candle's dickish behavior towards his crew in the Orchid seemed rather familiar, didn't it? Also, not only was that opening sequence just about the coolest stuff ever, but it was practically a direct mirror of our introduction to Desmond back at the top of Season 2, don't you think? Nice to hear some Willie Nelson, too.

How bad-ass was that fight scene with Sayid and the two assassins? Death by dishwasher! It really had the feel of a Jason Bourne movie, didn't it?

So when do you think the scene where Juliet and Sawyer were captured by those soldiers took place? Right around World War II, maybe? The guns and uniforms those guys had on didn't exactly look current, and taking an enemies' hand off just for the hell of it doesn't exactly sound like anything any modern military outfit would do now that Bush & Cheney are out of office. Speaking of that scene, who do you figure the people shooting flaming arrows were? Some past incarnation of the Others, maybe?

Speaking of flaming arrows, fan favorite Neil Frogurt made another cameo! My favorite part about that guy's backstory is that his last name might not even be Frogurt. According to his Lostpedia entry, the only real reason anyone calls him Frogurt is because Bernard once referred to him as "that guy that makes frozen yogurt." Wondering why Steve Buscemi lookalike Neil kept getting so pissed off last night when people wouldn't call him by his first name? Now you know. "My name is NEIL!"

Anyone remember that 'Got Milk?' commercial with the Aaron Burr enthusiast? Watch it again and see if there's anyone in it that looks familiar.

My favorite internet theory right now is that Mrs. Hawking is Daniel Faraday's mother. Cool, right? What was even cooler was that Illuminati-type weirdness that she and Ben were up to at the end of the second hour. With all the physics calculations that she was running on that blackboard while Foucault's Pendulum clicked away behind her, it's easy to see how any son of hers might turn out to be someone like Daniel Faraday.

If Charlotte needs a Constant to stop those nosebleeds, I'm more than willing to volunteer. Man, is Rebecca Mader hot. Wow. I swear I can hear her jeans sigh contentedly every time she shows up on screen in them.

The look on Locke's face when Ethan Rom (ETHAN ROM!) showed up pointing a rifle at him scared the crap out of me. Probably out of him, too.

Whose side is Sun on here? Widmore's? Kate's? Her own? My money's on that last option, as the woman clearly seems out for blood. I think she's playing Kate like a harmonica, myself. As she pointed out this episode, it kinda-sorta was her fault that Jin never made it onto the chopper. Or was it Jack's? Or both? I'd say she's got more than a few targets to start picking through here, and her manipulation of Kate this time around was only the beginning. Once again, Yunjin Kim brings the goods.

Cheech Marin eating a caviar-and-salami sandwich while watching 'Expose'' is just about the best thing ever. You know what would be cool? If Hurley's imaginary friend Dave calls him up sometime. Dave's not here, man.

Ana-Lucia looking HOT! Wow! Boy, I bet they really had a hard time convincing Michelle Rodriguez to come back to Hawaii for a few days to have a couple drinks. Heh. I liked her advice to Hurley the most - "Whatever you do, don't get arrested!" Indeed. Cattiness aside, though, her mention to Hurley about Libby brought the tiniest of tears to my eye. Awwww.

This show's attention to detail never ceases to amaze me. When Candle woke up and put the record on, there was actually a single hair on the needle, thus initiating the skip.

Speaking of detail, anyone notice the pregnant woman walking behind Marvin Candle as he walked to work? Does that mean that the island's fertility problem only started taking place after the Purge?

I have to add that getting an up-close, in-person visual history of the island's past through these time jumps is very, very cool. I hope they use it to tell us about everything - the Dharma Initiative, the Black Rock, the four-toed statue, who and what has been on this island in the past, everything. I'm kinda hoping they don't take the 'Back To The Future' route and start having the castaways run into past versions of themselves, but we'll see. Although, I really wouldn't mind hearing Sawyer call Faraday 'McFly' sometime. Hell, I'd even settle for 'Butthead'.

Best part about seeing Hurley throw a Hot Pocket at Ben? Ben not even flinching. That's what.

You know the mysterious voices that we keep hearing out in the jungle? I'm thinking they might be the voices of the Others as they travel through time on the future version of the island. Thoughts?

There were a lot of them, but I'd say the line of the night would have to go to Sawyer - "Open up, it's the Ghost of Christmas Future!" Either that, or Richard Alpert getting all sarcastic on Locke with "It points north, John."

Obama is president AND Lost is back? Man, life is sweet.

Thoughts? Comments? Rebecca Mader's phone number? Shoot me an email or visit my blog any old time you please.

Until next week!