Life on Mars: Things to do in New York when You Think You're Dead (Episode 105)

All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly

Brother Lovebutter!!! Sounds like a new lubricant. Oy.

Ray is looking at the body of a nine-year-old girl, Keisha Davies who has been thrown off the roof and even his hair seems to know that this death will translate into some serious shit falling on the heads of the One-Twenty-five.

Sam pulls back the cloth covering Keisha and he and we discover that it's plot device girl from the previous episode.

Ray, who was doing his job, says that the scuzzball suspect is Angel Ramirez. He says two witnesses on the opposite building saw Ramirez throw Keisha off the building. Ramirez is Puerto Rican and Keisha is Black (Not African-American, Black) which means, like I said, shit is going to go down.

Although, comparing potential race riots to his sister-in-law eating cheesecake? Gene, buddy, trying to get your similies more to scale, 'k?

Some exposition: Angel was the building supervisor and Keisha used to watch him as he worked. He also spent a couple years in jail for assault so obviously he's totally guilty.

Random cop tells the boss that Chris was having trouble bringing Ramirez in, so Ray and Sam head over to help and find themselves trying to reason with a Catholic priest.

I should say up front that I'm Catholic and I like this guy. Nuns are still scary though.

Ramirez sought sanctuary in Father Tim's church. Sam tells Chris that the 'badge overrides the cloth' and Father Tim gives him a look that says that either Sam was going to hell or he was going to kick Sam's ass. I'm going for the second one. Sam attempts to use the law to get Father Tim to give up Ramirez but Father Tim just asks Ray if Sam knows he used to box.

The debate continues, with some dodgy referencing of the Bible and we learn that Sam is not a practicing Catholic I have no idea if what they're saying is true, I'm not the best Catholic around either but Father Tim gets the the best line of the week (Sorry, Ray).

"Be fair with him, be fair or I'll hit you with so many rights you'll beg me for the left," and he convinces Ramirez to go with the officers.

Chris confirms my theory that nuns are scary and Ramirez is led away from the church. Chris pats him down and finds a piece of Keisha's dress.

The guys are about to put him into the car when Sam sees a pipebomb and they all dive for cover. Ramirez runs off while Sam sees the black guy who tossed the bomb run off.

Brother Lovebutter comes back via voiceover (ok, some Cat has his radio on so the dazed cops can hear) to tell his listeners that Ramirez has escaped and gives a call to arms for the takedown.

Credits.

More Lovebutter as Annie and Sam share a few words in the precinct. Flash to random bum. Annie says Sam's surviving of the car bomb was a miracle, but as we all know, Sam believes in the curlicued whimsy of fate.

Bum walks by, telling Sam that maybe he's already dead. Was Windy busy this week stealing milk from someone else?

Gene gives a speech working in a metaphor of Pearl Harbor apparently his metaphors are fine, he just needs to work on his similies. Apparently there are Japanese involved now and the One-Twenty-Five is going to find out WHO DID THIS

And forget Keisha and Ramirez.

So three black guys walk into a police station - and get guns pulled on them.

One of the guys is Big Love from House! Fletcher Bellows, a cop working out the Eighty-Six. It's Sam who reassures the team because, of course, he knows him from the future.

Here come Sam's daddy issues again. Bellows was Sam's mentor, rabbi, priest, mentor etc. You just have to love the grin on Sam's face. Ray apologizes as only Ray can - with some urgently cringe-worthy racist stereotypes. Ouch.

Sam goes to say hi and one wonders, is Sam so blinded by his heroes that he's forgotten they don't know him?

Bellows takes a crack at the perps, and finds out that they belong to the Black Liberation Army (BLA) like the Black Panthers but without a conscience.

They, of course, aren't spilling because they're bad like that.

Gene meanders on about his nose knowing that it knows something. I roll my eyes His nose, being as old as Gene, obviously has experience sniffing out truth. After Ray promises to go a little Home Depot on their ass, the guys spill. Ramirez got away, but there's a price on his head.

The interrogation is interrupted by the arrival of the BLA's lawyer, Foxy Brown Denise Watkins.

The camera takes a loving climb up Watkin's legs and we see that she is a knockout. Sam and Bellows are rendered mute by her legs and her smarts. Sam just looks kind of scared, actually. This is not the Denise he remembers.

Totally gratuituous shot of her legs again! Bellows is instantly in lust and Sam lets it slip that he and Watkins will eventually hook up.

We move from Watkins' legs to the issue at hand. Ray (who is our outspoken racist) tells Sam and Bellows that the order has been given for a shoot-on-sight for Ramirez. Sam protests and appeals to Gene. Gene gives what is possibly the flimsiest logic for the potential shooting of Ramirez and besides, no one hurts little girls in his kingdom.

Sam appeals to Chris as well and the butterfly imagery that we saw in the beginning of the show comes back. Keisha had a butterfly clip, just like Chris' kid sister. Which apparently is totally a reason to shoot people.

Sam and Bellows take off to find Ramirez on their own. Sam wants a hug, but Bellows is all about the personal space. Aw!

Sam's thinking, I love my dad!

Bellows and Sam go back to Father Tim, who is all smirky. I like this guy. Seriously, the guest stars are awesome in this episode. He bargains with Sam; tell him why he left the faith and he'll tell the cops where Ramirez might be.

More stuff about Sam's daddy issues. His father left on Sam's fourth birthday. The little boy prayed every night to see him one last time but never got to say goodbye.

Father Tim admits he doesn't know where Ramirez was with a cheerful, "I lied!" Yes, priests do that. They also drink way too much rum, sleep with nuns and leave the faith and yes, these are two priests I knew. But Father Tim does tell them that Ramirez was seeing someone.

Sam and Bellows sit in the car and we get some more of Sam's daddy issues. Sam was arrested for breaking into a candy store when he was 17. The cop who arrested him took an interest in him and became the reason Sam joined the force.

Ok, I have to admit, I teared up a bit at this scene, especially when Sam sees (and talks to) the Fletcher from 2008. It's a really sweet moment and O'Mara and Clarke Peter (older Bellows) played it beautifully especially when Sam says that yes, he did get a chance to work a case with his mentor.

The tender moment is disrupted by Brother Lovebutter's announcement of Ramirez's location.

The two men speed over to a deserted alley and Sam sees the bum from the precinct sitting against an oil drum with a sign that says, "If this purgatory, how do I get to Heaven?" Yes, we get it, considering the writer has been hammering us over the head with the whole heaven/purgatory thing. Sam whips off his sunglasses Horatio Caine-style and he hears a heart monitor beeping.

Bellows shouts at Sam and it turns out that Brother Lovebutter was working with the BLA to capture some cops. The BLA's plan is to let the police arrest Angel, then trade Bellows and Sam for Angel. Sam points out that the cops will probably kill Angel and head BLA guy simply says that they'll just have to kill them. That, of course, is not cool. Then he rhymes. Sam tries to bond by complimenting BLA guy's rhymes. BLA guy points out that there's no white people music like Three Dog Night in this basement and Sam tries to be cool by talking about freestyling.

BLA guy challenges Sam to freestyle and Sam, realizing that he's a white boy tied up in a basement with some angry black guys (the stereotypes just keep coming, don't they?) politely declines. BLA guy offers to shoot Bellows.

So Sam goes for the whitest rap he could fine - Ice, Ice, Baby

Yeah it was chosen to emphasize Sam's whiteness, but it was freaking hilarious!! It's better than the original version .

BLA guy thinks it's "urgent" and Sam and Bellows are not shot but instead rescued by Foxy Brown. Foxy takes them down the corridor and Sam convinces Bellows to sweet talk her. So Bellows invites her out for clams. I love her response, "You are one brother with an inappropriate sense of smooth," and tells him that Shaft is the only black cop in her life. 'Clams' Bellows has been shot down by Foxy!

The men meet Brother Lovebutter and my first response is, "they're stunt-casting already!?" but when you think about it, who else could have done it? Issac Hayes maybe, but he's dead. That, and she rocks that afro and sunglasses.

Sam: "You're Brother Lovebutter?"

BL: "In the funkified flesh."

Bellows: "Brother's a sister?!"

I giggled. Brother Whoopi has a point. She can get her point across better sounding like a guy than like a woman. You gotta do what you gotta do in a world filled with -isms.

Sam and Brother Lovebutter talk about justice, death, love and religion. Brother Lovebutter wants blood to quell the hot blood raging in the streets of New York. Bellows points out that even if the BLA kill Ramirez, they're still going to jail for it, so really, who wins?

Brother Lovebutter considers this, and the three come to an agreement which means Sam and Bellows gets 24 hours of radio silence. Bellows thinks Ramirez is keeping tabs on his would-be killers by listening to the radio, so Brother Lovebutter gives Sam a little air-time to reach out to Ramirez.

Ramirez calls in and they're thisclose to some sort of rapprochement when a cop calls in on line three. Brother Lovebutter flips over despite Sam's and Bellows' frantic gestures. Gene, being an idiot, gives the game away and Ramirez hangs up.

She is such a shit disturber! Sam thinks Ramirez was at the bus station. They go, but see Gene, Ray and Chris. Chris recognizes Ramirez's jacket and the two groups of men race over to grab Ramirez. Turns it's not Ramirez, but his girlfriend, his very pregnant girlfriend.

Back at the station, the men and Annie are making sure that Marta is comfortable and getting her vitamins and niacin.

Sam tells Marta that there are people are out there trying to kill Ramirez. The camera tellingly flips over to Ray.

Marta tells the cops that Ramirez is at the candlelight vigil.

Ok, that whole line from Marta about having an angel is just completely cringeworthy.

At the vigil, it's not a collection of mourning people, but a horde of people from both sides (the BLA and the cops) just waiting to kill the same guy, it's just a matter of who gets there first.

Sam is distracted by voices who seem to be telling HIM goodbye instead of Keisha. He hears the heart monitor again and while looking down to clear his head, he sees a paper that declares that a heroic cop died yesterday in the line of duty.

Bellows brings him back by saying the obvious - that it just isn't safe for Ramirez. Just then, the crowd spots Ramirez on the roof.

Bellows and Sam go to the roof where Ray is questioning Ramirez's motives and sanity. Sam, who declares Ramirez innocent, pulls his gun on his fellow cops.

Gene is shocked and proceeds to do a little Taxi Driver at Sam even though the movie came out in 1976.

Sam, who may have gone to moron heaven, refuses to pull his gun. Ray and Ray's hair has his gun on Sam, but Gene just wants to close the case even if it means shooting an innocent man and we get the story.

The little girl was up on the roof with Ramirez, playing with a butterfly. As with all little children, she was obsessed with her new toy/companion and didn't watch where she was going. Keisha, while chasing the butterfly, got too close to the ledge and despite Ramirez's trying to grab her, fell. It was just a sad and pointless accident.

Ray and Ray's hair doesn't buy the story, so Sam appeals to Gene's nose which sniffs out the truth.

Yay to Bellows for telling Ray to shut up.

The mob downstairs is being held back by the cops. Gene, just like Brother Lovebutter, knows that the mob wants justice so he pulls out his gun and shoots, immediately satisfying the mob's bloodlust.

Ramirez's body is loaded into the ambulance as the cops stand around trying to deal with their conscience. Brother Lovebutter nods to Sam, who doesn't respond.

Sam climbs into the ambulance and uncovers Ramirez please, like Gene was really going to shoot him. Turns out they conveniently had red exterior paint ready for a little blood action. The only sacrifice of the day was Sam's shirt.

Ramirez thanks Sam for believing in him and we have part of the whole heaven/purgatory/hell/wherever Sam is conversation because Ramirez says he prayed and God delivered in the form of Sam.

The ambulance drives away and Gene disciplines Sam with a punch to the gut.

Bellows and Sam say their goodbyes and Sam is still grinning goofily at his father figure. Annie comes up to tell him that it's good he got a chance to say goodbye. This is important.

Sam goes back to Father Tim's church looking for the priest. Instead, he sees the bum who is here for a funeral. Sam turns around and is suddenly in the same church during the funeral.

He sees that it's a funeral for a cop and in a bit of navel-gazing, seems to think it's for him. But notice there's no beeping of the heart monitor.

Oh hey! There's Maya!

Sam lifts the coffin cover and sees Bellow. Remember the paper Sam picks up at the vigil? And what Annie said?

He hears Maya telling Denise (yes, Bellows and Denise obviously got together) that she's sorry Sam never got a chance to say goodbye.

Here's the question, did Bellows actually die, or is Sam saying goodbye to everyone where he is before moving on to what's next? Or is this one big metaphor for something? Discuss.

The bum tells him that they heard his prayer, but they chose which father. Sam asks for the bum's true identity. Sam asks the bum/angel/metaphor for whatever why Sam was in 1973/purgatory/a coma/insert your theory here. The bum, like all cyptic messengers tells him nothing. Instead, he takes Keisha's hand and the two walk into the light.

The show ends with Sam's return to the faith as we see the grown man interspersed with images off the four-year-old.

So really, was this entire case was just to bring Sam back to the church? Angels are sneaky that way.

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