Life On Mars: My Maharishi is Bigger Than Your Maharishi (Episode 103)

"I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in the curlicued whimsy of fate."

I'm back after my trip to Europe and I've learned one thing: do not try to keep up when drinking with the British. You will end up on the floor of a toilet after throwing up.

We open with a scene straight out of Hair minus the nudity since it's a network show. Sam is walking through the peacenik crowd with a smile on his face that clearly says, "I can't believe I'm actually experiencing this like it said in my history books!!"

Ray on the other hand gives us the narc's point of view, (OMG, seashell jewelry is so tacky destructive) allowing Sam to give us our obligatory history lesson of the show.

Cue Sam flashback number one - him playing as a kid in the park.

Dead body topped with mayo. Sam does his forensic thing, only to be horrified by Ray and Chris's lack of respect for the body. But hey, Chris got the wallet, so I'm sure that counts for something. Roberts Reeves Jr. 31. Lives in Queens and he's a military vet. Yikes.

Sidenote: I love Ray's hair.

Back in the squad room Gene is giving us his best tough-guy act, telling his men he's going to make the perp cry for his mother. But he's too old to administer a beatdown. I try to believe him... nope, I don't believe his beatdown ability. Theoriginalspy has high definition tv and says HK is slathered in pancake makeup.

Robert Reeves has a wife and son and was a Black Beret. Gene served, which gives us some banter, which still doesn't really sound natural between the two characters, but it is only the third episode. You know if this was Simm and Glenister, it would have sounded way flirtier with a side of 'I will hurt you.'

Sam tries to speed up the investigation (aka RR's car out of the impound lot) to 2008 standards, but keeps running into the 1973 way of doing things - slowly.

Random conversation between No Nuts Norris and Sam about the future disappearance of paper.

Sam tells Annie to give the car a once-over. She gets even more to do when Ray drags her along to to do the tender cop thing when they talk to Reeves' wife and kid.

Reeves served two tours of duty in Vietnam and then got killed less than six months on home ground. Turns out he got a call from his squad leader John Fisher and he was very faithful to his wife.

That sound? Is the first brick being thrown at your head.

Sam goes outside to talk to Robbie, who's sitting on the curb with Annie. Sam tells Robbie than the happiest and last memory he had of his father was when his dad took him to the Knick's game. This was before Sam's dad left. no, we don't know yet if he was the local porn king.

What would have been a tender moment between Annie and Sam is stopped by Sam realizing that his childhood self is somewhere in the city and if he finds himself, maybe he can get back to 2008.

Credits.

Turns out the last Vet that got killed was whacked by a dictionary. For the record, it's not just librarians that kill with dictionaries. I threw one at someone's head when I was 16. It didn't hit her

Sam's doing a little investigating when Ray calls him to go uptown because he and Ray are 'uptown.'

I'll wait for you to stop laughing at the thought of Ray being uptown.

Moving on...

Sam and Ray are interviewing John Fisher, who is also sporting a hell of a moustache. Seriously, the facial hair in this episode should be another character.

Fisher gives us a rundown of his military family and background. He said that Reeves was concerned by the lack of respect Vets were receiving you know, kind of like now and oh, here's a mention of Iran. If you wondering why not Iraq? Well, Iran was going through a very turbulent time during the '70s with a change in regime. Look it up if you want to know more.

Back in the squad room, we get a moment of Gene reminiscing about ticker tape parades. He sounds like he's on the front porch in a rocking chair No, I am not going to stop commenting on his age. But we do find out that there is a group of privileged kids who oppose the war and like to do it violently.

Ray gets the best lines as he, Chris and Sam go to talk to Sticker who is giving a speech on equality.

Ray and Sticker face off and Sam has flashback number two. He runs into the back stairs of the dingy building and runs into his neighbour who joyfully invites him to party in a deep meaningful way which involves her barely wearing clothes. Sam sticks out like a sore thumb on the dance floor and soon leaves. He walks into a room with Nimo Gandhi, who tells him stuff that makes no sense. His neighbour suggests that maybe 2008 is the illusion and 1973 is real and I'm rolling my eyes because I feel I need to be stoned for this segment, but I've decided I'll have another drink instead.

It's the next day and Sam is face down on his bed with his neighbour singing in his room. His first thought was if they had shagged, but instead she came over to see how he was doing. Turns out he was researching himself and his family. Basically Neighbour is the narrative board for his ideas, but I'm more distracted by the fact that Sam looks pretty good unshaven and in a vest. My moment is ruined when Annie shows up to drag his ass down to the precinct.

Sam's caught between two women, one acting like the girlfriend with a "tell Annie I said hi!" and Annie oh-so-blatantly listening at the door. Sam acting like a very guilty husband runs out of his flop to attend to police business.

Turns out there wasn't much in Reeves' car except the business card of an accountant - Lawrence Jones. Jones says Reeves talked to him about tax liability of receiving an inheritance. Annie is making faces and turns out she thinks Jones is handwavy.

Oh, she means gay!!

We get the main theories about homosexuality, but it just turns out her gaydar is working.

Sam puts forward the theory that Reeves was gay which of course since he was a family man and served in the military Don't ask, don't tell totally means it's just not possible.

It was the seventies.

Annie and Sam go back to the Reeves' house and talk to Robbie and for Sam to share more about his dad. Robbie rightly pointed out that his dad didn't dad didn't leave, he died.

Sam tells Robbie a story and acts out a anti-smoking ad at the same time then is hit by flashback number three when he sees three diamonds on a building across the street.

He abandons the feel good moment with Robbie to walk into an empty apartment which, as you all probably know, was his childhood apartment.

Maybe.

I say maybe because he pulls out a box from the baseboard but there were no GI Joes, but a picture of another famiy.

Sam believes that he once lived in the apartment but Annie gives him a rational explanation.

A matchbox taken from Robbie with 'Along came Mary' written on it moves the plot along and we find Sam and Gene in a gay bar. They have a conversation which goes along the lines of this:

"Lots of people are gay and you can't tell - like Rock Hudson."

Sam questions the bartender and like all bartenders and Ianto Jones he knows everything. He fingers the locals at the neighbouring sports bar and we run up against Ray's homophobia. Sam climbs on his platform for a 9/11 reference (which is a nice tie-in to the first episode) and we get a blatant touch of the writers' views.

Ray waltzes off and sam ruins the ending of Soylent Green It's made of people for him.

Sam decides that they need a sting operation and Chris is chosen, one assumes, because he's the precinct's bitch prettiest one there.

The sting operation leads to a realization for Chris when he's checked out by an older guy in the park.

"Holy cow, that guy looked just like my Uncle Harold, but my Uncle Harold... no, no, no... Uncle Harold took me to my first Broadway musical... wow, Uncle Harold?"

Ray is in the office doing god knows what. Gene questions why he's not out helping Sam, Annie and Chris. Gene proves he's not a caveman because a murderer is worse than a 'fruitfly.' Ray is shamed into helping the team, even his hair is drooping.

Back in the park, Chris is attacked by some gaybashers. Sam and Annie come to his rescue.

Interrogation time. It's pretty standard and we get confirmation that Chris is the prettiest one of them all. The bashers admit to beating up gays, but not to murdering them. This leads to the best lines of the entire show.

Prison Menu

Breakfast

Sodomy

Exercise yard

Sodomy

Lunch

Sodomy

Arts and crafts

Sodomy

Dinner

Sodomy - Sodomy with kissing (major sodomy) extra charges apply

Turns out that Jimmy the pretty gay basher doesn't like the menu and folds like a pack of cards. Turns out the killer and Reeves were kissing in the park then Reeves was thrown on the ground and the killer leaned over to punch him. The killer never kicked him and limped when he ran away.

We all know the killer now, so it's time for the showdown. Sam offers Fisher a chance to confess without revealing his homosexuality. Turns out Fisher wanted to keep his homosexuality in Vietnam. Gene praised Reeves for his courage in coming out. Fisher is arrested and Gene comments on gays in the military and the current gay marriage laws in the United States.

Sam and Annie go to see Mrs. Reeves and Sam tells her and Robbie an edited truth, praising Reeves' bravery and honour.

Sam continues to work through his own father issues with Robbie.

Random meet up with the neighbour, Annie stays to let Mrs. Reeves talk, Gene has a drink, Chris and Ray sit with their thoughts and Sam walks the streets after the Knicks game and yes, you guessed it, sees his younger self with his father exiting the subway. Cute kid.

Thanks to Theoriginalspy for covering for me last week and I've got one message for her:

Canary Wharf