Top Design - "Artsy Bunker" (Episode 202)

Wisit and Nathan tell Todd Oldham where they're registered.

Kerry was "disheartened" about being in the bottom two last week, because he wants to show that he is a competent designer. Eddie calls the show "decorating boot camp" and says "you've got to get it done, no if, ands or buts." Way to work it, Captain Cliche. The designers all share some (I'm sure still slightly awkward) conversation and nervous laughter before heading out of the loft for their next challenge. India tells the designers will be testing their abilities in a much smaller space than last week - it's only 12' x 14', and they're going to be sharing the space with another designer. Robert is concerned because he's never been limited to sucha small space before. I already kind of feel sorry for whoever gets paired with him. The pairings are assigned by the random drawing of paint chips. Andrea (Mrs. Ricky Schroder) says she "lucked out" when she was matched with Eddie. The other pairs are Ondine and Preston, Jennifer and Robert, Natalie and Teresa, Kerry and Shazia and Wisit and Nathan.

Todd brings in a "vintage" TV and what Eddie described as a "beta tape." On the TV is an old (50s-era) educational film about the benefits of fallout shelters (which instantly made me think of "Grease 2". Anyone else?) India says they're designing for a room they "could spend the rest of theior lives in." Natalie gets the line of the night in the first five minutes of the show with this gem: "If you have to go live in a bunker, you want to be able to live and be comfy so you don't feel like s--t that you're getting bombed." I think she's on the wrong show - she's young and blonde and would be great on "I Love Money." India says the space needs to reflect both designers. Todd adds that the designers have to demonstrate their "own senibility" but work in tandem with their partner. The budget is $6,000 per team and each team gets 30 minutes to connfer in their bunker before heading to the store. They only have the equivalent of about a day to complete this challenge. The bunkers are cement, gray, dingy and dirty - just as you'd expect. Andrea said they definitely need some "sprucing up." Eddie suggested green, like the outdoors and nature, he didn't want to face the prospect of spending the rest of his life in a "disco inferno." Ondine wants their bunker to be light blue to eminate "daylight," which Preston loooooves. They ended up separating the spaces "a little bit" so they'd both have their own little bit of space for their creative endeavors. Kerry wants drapery for his bunker to give it a "clean, classy spa feeling." Jennifer is an architect, not a designer, so she claims she can lend a different perspective to the competition. And she's paired with fussy Robert. Oh, this ought to be good. Robert didn't think Jennifer didn't have a strategy in mind (she was thinking fashion, while he was all about function.) He found that "kind of odd." Jennifer continues to blindly look at fabric, ignoring Robert's "agenda." Wisit and Nathan want to make their space as bright as possible. Wisit is worried about making space for the bed and Nathan said "we only need one", which got a giggle from my favorite little opera singing designer. Wisit thought a fabric tent would add some "softness" to the space and wanted a simple furniture plan. Nathan says they're on the same path, both wanting something "clean, edited and good-looking." I can already see them sharing that bed.

Meanwhile, Natalie suggests something "glam and fabulous" for her bunker. She then continues to be the most amusing quote machine since Keasha on Tila Tequila's show (hey girl, hey!) saying that if she could plan how the world would end, she'd make sure it was something "stupid." She actually goes on to say, "like, the Chinese have built the Transformers to bomb us back because they were pissed about the Hiroshima bomb." She can't be for real. Teresa is actually glad to be sharing a bunker with Natalie, saying she is incredibly "entertaining". So were village idiots. According to Natalie, the concept for their bunker is a "zen den" with "warm colors, but cool colors on the wall." Teresa insists Natalie's talented, but I have to see this to believe it. Back at Robert's, Jennifer observes that Robert is gravitating toward blues, while she likes greens and yellows. He calls her palatte "muddy" and she gets defensive. This isn't going well. Jennifer is "frustrated" but thinks Robert is going to it his way, with or without her. He tells Jennifer she's being "random."

The teams head out to go shopping for furniture, accessories and wall coverings. Preston and Ondine decided on a theme of "His and Hers" for their bunker, personal spaces for each of them, but a collective space as well. Sounds like more space than they have to work with. They both picked out furniture on their own and eventually made a joint decicion as to what made it into the bunker. Nathan and Wisit decided on a theme of "Edited Elegance" and shop well together. They went with minimal furnishings and said his "dreams were coming true" with this bunker (I'm startig to think he and Nathan may move in it together when they're done.) Jennifer and Robert actually decided on a theme, "Personalized Spaces", and were shopping together without incident, which was a "pleasant surprise" for Jennifer. Shazia and Kerry find an awesome coffee table with built-in storage and Andrea and Eddie ("Country Garden") fall in love with a huge dining room set, before remembering they only need seating for two people. Eddie's goal was to find "s--t they wouldn't get tired of looking at." But there's scandal at the store - someone made off with the pillows Andrea set aside for her space! Guess who had the sticky fingers? Jennifer! Having to work with fussy Robert led her to a life of crime. All Andrea had ti say was "karma!"

The teams then had 30 minutes and $1,000 to spend at Pier One. I'm jealous. Kerry and Shazia ("Clean and Classic Spa") opted to light their space with votive candles. What would happen after the candles burned out? Kerry wasn't nuts about the idea, saying with 50 candles burning in such a small space that there's be "a fat boy on a rotissiere." I love Wisit, but Kerry is coming in a close second. Ondine and Preston went for necessities, such as plates and glasses. They also bought a bunch of wicker storage baskets to hang on the wall to hold their supplies. Jennifer and Robert shopped separately in Pier One, because it was all "small things and accessories" and believed that they would both get things that would work well together.

The teams speed back to the bunkers and have five hours to work. There was a lot of painting going on. Nathan says he's a lucky man to have Wisit on his team, for a lot of reasons (I suspect), but is particularly happy he's doing the draping, because his experience in fashion will make it easier. Robert says he and Jennifer are painting a foundation first, which will then be personalized by each of them. Jennifer's nervous their space won't look cohesive. Eddie painted some "faux, kind of dreamy-like branches" on the walls of his bunker. Kerry says Shazia's talented, but is quick to complain. He says he has a work ethic a lot of young designers don't have. Ondine notes that she and Preston are having trouble with their communal area. Teresa and Natalie's bunker is actually coming together quite nicely. Guess all that time not watching the History Channel has paid off for our dinghy little designer. Andrea is learning lots of tricks of the trade from Eddie and again just throws the fact that she's Rick(y) Schroder's wife in there again (is she going to do that in every episode?) Robert and Jennifer's bunker is a mess. Jennifer told Robert the bunker didn't resemble a unified space, to which Robert snapped back that unified space doesn't necessarily mean "matchy matchy." Nathan is worried that he and Wisit won't have enough time to finish.

The next morning (elimination day!), Preston and Ondine grab some of their own personal items to help personalize their bunker. Andrea tells Ondine, who's also feeling a little crunched for time, that she and Eddie are just about finished, which is a relief after the stress of the last challenge. Eddie says he may take a nap in his bunker. Everyone returns to the bunkers with only two hours left to work. Shazia said Kerry's energy was "extremely" good for her, keeping her focused. Todd showed up to check on the teams' progress. Todd seemed impressed with Eddie and Andrea's space and was glad they went with a mirror, because you don't have to be a designer to know that mirrors give the illusion of space. Todd warned Robert and Jennifer that if they were too disconnected that their space would look like a "sad dorm room." Which it kind of does. Todd loved the fact that Preston and Ondine wallpapered the ceiling. Todd is the anti-tim Gunn, spewing praise to all of the designers. He did tell Natalie and Teresa that they may want to edit their accessories a bit. Since Eddie and Andrea finished early, they had time to check out the other rooms. Eddie called Robert and Jennifer's space "tribal meets Cape Cod." It is a sad dorm room, just with more expensive accessories and no neon beer signs or bikini girl posters. Wisit is getting a little nervous, because they still need to move furniture in, hang pictures and place accessories - and they've only got 30 minutes.

It's time for the judging. The panel hits Kerry and Shazia's faux spa first. Their room looks really nice and surprisingly spacious (and they did get lamps as well as candles, which were concentrated in one space - not all over the room.) They lifted the beds off the ground to create extra storage space. Another good idea. Kelly and Jonathan visit Nathan and Wisit's place. Wisit describes it best. It's cozy but open and airy and "about to fly away." Kelly asks about the sleeping situation and Wisit giggles and says that he and Nathan would get married and share the single bed. Awww. And "when he misbehaves, I send him to the couch!" I love Wisit! Nathan said that although their time management was "bad, bad, bad" he is pleased with the outcome and thinks the judges are too. Kelly loves the draped ceilings. India and Margaret judge Natalie and Teresa's "zen den." natalie thinks it's a place where even if there wasn't a bombing, you could "chillax" (she helpfully points out that "chillax" = chill + relaxed. Thanks for that.) I could see myself chillaxing there actually. Kelly and Jonathan then stop by the sad dorm room of Jennifer and Robert. It is a disjointed mess. Jonathan noted the divide down the middle of the room and asked if they didn't get along. Jennifer said it was done just because they had "different aesthetics" (which in interior designer-speak means they didn't get along.) Robert said he had a clear vision and Jennifer didn't bring her personality out in her design. Meow! Margaret and India then go into Eddie and Andrea' "green house." India notes that there are lots of personal touches, such as the picture of Andrea and her husband (who, in case it hasn't already been drilled into your brain by now, is actor Rick(y) Schroder.) Everything is bright and green, but the pony print chaise looks slightly out of place. Last, but not least is Ondine and Preston's 'His and Hers" bunker. It's a little "busy", but it is bright and airy. They added drapes to lend some privacy to their individual spaces. Onidne even hung up a bulletin board with a storyboard for her eventual novel. Jonathan asked who came up with the idea of hanging the wicker baskets on the wall (it was Ondine.)

The contestants gather for elimination. India thinks most of the teams were successful in making the drab bunkers look lively. Jonathan complemented Nathan and Wisit, telling them they did a great job. Margaret loved the draped ceiling and thought they edited their space well. Jonathan called their "marital" bed "j'adorable." Eddie and Andrea also got high marks for the judges for being cohesive and sophisticated. Jonathan thought they had a great color scheme. Kelly thought it was very well thought-out and functional as well as beautiful. The winning team this week is Eddie and Andrea. Wisit and Nathan are also safe this week. The only complaint about Teresa and Natalie's "zen den" was that it was a bit over-accessorized. They're safe as well. Shazia and Kerry had a well laid-out space, but Jonathan found it "a little boring." Margaret told them they should "ramp it up" next time and "shock" the judges with something big (maybe they should have gone with "fat guy on a rotisserie.") Despite the criticism, they're also moving on. It's down to Ondine and Preston and Jennifer and Robert - both teams that divided their space. Jonathan called Robert's place "a total buzzkill." When asked about the division of the room, Jennifer said that many of her ideas were met with resistance and felt that was why their room wasn't cohesive. Robert (of course) disagreed, saying that Jennifer only had a color, not a concept. Margaret asked Preston if he felt his space had a cohesive look and he said he thought it did. She told him she didn't think there was anything going on at all. Kelly, on the other hand, thought there were "too many stories being told" in their space. Jonathan wasn't "wowed" by the wicker baskets and said it felt like a dorm room (but not a "sad" dorm room, so I think they're safe. India sends the teams away for some last-minute deliberation with the judges. Margaret thought Preston and Odine "propped" the room rather than desiging it (Kelly noted random fruit on the tables and luggage.) Jonathan thought these props (and the wicker baskets) dragged the room down. Margaret thought Robert and Jennifer made one mistake after another in theior space and didn't think either of them was successful. India asked who the main culprit was and the judges thought they were both to blame. Jonathan was hoping Jennifer would have done something to "wow" him (can't he come up with something else? I'm not "wowed" by his critique.) Margaret thought Robert was more articulate about what he wanted. Kelly said they're both to blame. Jonathan thinks there was something "petulant" about their inability to work together.      

I don't think it's any surprise, but Robert and Jennifer were deemed the losers of the challenge. According to Jonathan, they "failed to address any of the basic tenents of good design." Jennifer is sent home but Robert was found to be equally to blame for the "atrocity" and is also sent home. Now that's a shocker! Next time, former "Project Runway" contestants (Sweet P!) are the clients.