Greatest American Dog - Dancing with the Dogs (Episode 105)

After Tillman the skateboarding bulldog was sent home last week, the gang headed back to Canine Academy, where whiny Brandy put Beacon into some pajamas. Oh, please. Laurie announces it's party time and Travis plays bartender for the remaining owners. But Brandy's mysteriously a no-show. Booze and Travis? I can't believe she's missing this. She comes in and tells everyone that Beacon's "mad at her." Perhaps Beacon would prefer sleeping au naturel? Brandy thinks Beacon wants to go home. Travis tries to get her to snap out of it, but if I were him, I'd just say, "yeah, he probably does." Anything to get that annoying harpie off the show, right? Sage Laurie says the pooch is just tired. She thinks Brandy is trying too hard to "humanize" Beacon, placing too many expectations on them. She is right, you know. Beacon finally joins the party and, of course, Beth Joy loves the pjs. (No surprise, Bella is in a doggie negligee. Creepy.) Travis notes that Beacon's socks are taped to his legs. Poor dog - it's not bad enough he's stuck with Brandy, his socks are stuck on him as well. Laurie looks like she's completely through with Brandy. You and me both, lady.

Bill and Star are still homesick. Bill misses coffee in the morning with his wife the most. He's journaling like a madman. Aww. Love the Bill. So does Teresa, who says he reminds her of her grandpa. Bill confides in Teresa that he'd really like a chance to stay in the Dog Bone Suite. I'd like to see him win it and put JD in the dog house again.

The gang meet up with Jarod for the Dog Bone Challenge. This week's theme is coordination and the challenge is called "Mud Dog." There are balance beams set up over a mud pit and the dog that makes it across the beam in the fastest time wins. Oh, and there's no more Dog House, but the winner of the challenge gets a "leg up" in the Best in Show challenge. Travis and Presley go first and Presley seems a little reluctant to cross the beam. He takes a few, tentative steps out and promptly falls into the mud. Brandy and Beacon are next - Beacon takes a few steps and launches hmself into the mud, presumably to try and escape. Laura and Preston take to the beam and ol' Pres also hops into the mud. Star is the first to make it across the beam, in a zippy 16 seconds. Laurie was confident that Andrew was going to cross the beam, but he proved her wrong by also launching into the mud - so did Bella. Now it's time for show-off JD and Galaxy. I thought for a second that Bill was sunk, as Galaxy got halfway across, but he jumped off close to the end of the beam. Too bad, so sad. JD was pissed. Last up are Teresa and Leroy, who loves swimming pools. Teresa was afraid he was going to jump in the mud, thinking it was a pool, but Leroy dashed across the beam in record time (5.5 seconds.) Now it's Bill's turn to look pissed. Teresa asked if she could give the Bone Suite (and the "leg up") to Bill. Wow, how sweet of her. Bill is most excited about the suite because in it are pictures of his wife and grandkids. He reads a note from his wife and is brought to tears. Teresa is so glad she gave up the suite to Bill and he promises that she'll be on his Christmas card list for years to come. I feel so warm 'n' fuzzy right now.

The next day brings lots of recreation - and more shirtless Travis (thanks, CBS!) Beacon is yet again decked out in a ridiculous outfit and is disobeying Brandy's command to sit. Brandy asserts that she's not going to be in the bottom three again. Bill thinks Beacon may just be having a bad day. Laurie says Brandy is clueless and says the dog is "shutting down because of the harsh training she receives." Laurie says she's n ot going to help her out because this is a competition after all.

Jarod tells the owners that this week's Best in Show challenge is called "Dancing with the Dogs." Beth Joy is ecstatic. Bill's "leg up" is a choreographer named Kashaya who has worked with Gwen Stefani, Jessica Simpson and 50 Cent. Ummm...okay....Bill says it's "gonna be excitin'" to work with the "dance instructor lady." Each dog/owner pair has to perform a one-minute, themed dance routine. Everyone heads inside to pick their theme and music. JD made a beeline for the hip hop music, as he tells us he was a Michael Jackson impersonator and breakdancer in the 80s (FYI, he's white.) Laurie took ragtime, thinking it was a natural for her. travis took western and Bill took rockabilly. Laurie rehearsed with Andrew and said the key to winning the competition was dancing in unison. She thinks they're going to do a great job. Little Preston didn't seem too enthused to do a Latin dance with Laura, and she was worried. Bill told Kashaya he would do just about everything for his routine - except splits. For a people choreographer, Kashaya had a few good ideas for Star. Travis is doing his best not to be stressed in front of Presley. Brandy got classical ballet and was trying to deal witrh an unresponsive Beacon. Teresa is hoping Leroy doesn't bark during their disco routine. Bill pointed out that Teresa's voice inflection when she gets frustrated may have something to do with Leroy's barking. That Bill's a perceptive one. laurie totally didn't want to tell Teresa about it. JD says he can't wait for the judges to see "Dr. Pop and his breakdancing dog, G-Money." I'm scared. Brandy is crying, which achieves her (less-than) hidden goal of getting Travis' attention. He tells her to quit worrying and get to the practicing, even volunteering to help her out. Mission accomplished, Brandy.

It's three hours until challenge time, and Brandy has decided to stop fake crying and work on her dance routine. Some puppy treats make Beacon a much more receptive partner. It's time for the Best in Show Challenge. These dance routines look like something out of a grade school talent revue. Andrew doesn't do much beside run around during the ragtime routine, but Laurie is really selling it. Victoria said the routine was "charming." JD's "Dr. Pop" looked more like "med student pop," but both Wendy and Victoria looked impressed during his hip hop routine with Galaxy. But, all in all, it was pretty good - that Galaxy's a pro. Allan called JD "Snoop Doggy JD" (what a hipster!) and of course, Victoria and Wendy had nothing but praise for the act. Beth Joy and Bella did a broadway-themed number in matching dresses. That oughta piss off the judges. Bella did a lot of turns, but didn't want to jump over Beth's parasol. I think Beth really enjoyed the dancing. Wedny didn't think Bella was "into it." Victoria wasn't impressed. Leroy started barking the minute the music started, and Teresa's voice wasn't to blame. Teresa harshly reprimanded the dog a few times, which got a look of disapproval from Victoria. Wendy also didn't look too pleased. Brandy and Beacon were next and Beacon was back to his old, unresponsive self, losing a "ballet slipper" in the process. Victoria said Beacon looked "befuddled and unenergized" and said that dogs have short attention spans and thinks Beacon has been "overtrained." Wendy said the ballet slippers were "ridiculous." Bill looked like a bizarre combinatio of Drew Carey and Jerry Lee Lewis in a blond pompadour wig, which the judges loved. It was a cute routine and Star went to the judges for a little kissing up (literally). The judges all loved his routine and Bill acknowledged the help of Teresa and Kashaya - whatta guy. I'm not a big country person, but Travis is sure looking fine in his western gear. Victoria looked bored while Travis did most of the dancing. Wendy didn't think Presley did anything different. Allan said Presley looked disinterested in Travis. Victoria wants them to "take it up a notch." Uh-oh. Preston had to interrupt his Latin dance routine for a little scratch, and that was probably the best part of the routine. Wendy thought it was "horrific" and Victoria said Laura was out of her comfort zone. The judges have a hard decision ahead of them.

The winners of the challenge are Laurie and Andrew. Really? Allan said they were a "match made in heaven." The bottom three are Laura and Preston, Brandy and Beacon and Travis and Presley (nooooo!) And, after all is said and done, Brandy is going home! Finally! No more whining. Sadly, it's not over for poor Beacon, as he has to go home with her.