The Hills: A Date With The Past (Episode 326)

Lauren and Stephen have a platonic dinner at a romantic restaurant: Photo courtesy MTV.com.Because it's late as I'm writing this (and this recap is, let's see, two whole weeks late), I'm going to do quick bullet points (lame, I know) but you know you love me.

Sorry, wrong show.

Eats: I kinda love that the girls appear to be eating all the time. I don't know if MTV has contracts with various eateries in and around Hollywood, or if it's really just to make sure these skinny white girls never drink on an empty stomach (seriously, when did we last see Lauren or Heidi drunk?), but "The Hills" is all about eating at yummy-looking places where a single meal may cost as much as my rent. But for serious, this week we visited:

• Caffe Primo: Lo and Lauren enjoy lunch al fresco on a rather blustery day. The unseasonably cold weather seems appropriate, given Lauren's rather cool treatment of Heidi in last ep's encounter at GOA. Alas, it's not cold enough to distract Lo from the astonishing fact that Stephen Coletti is back in the picture! But back as what -- friend? Lovah? Season 3 gimmick guest appearance orchestrated by the producers to boost sagging ratings?
• Karma Coffeehouse: Stephane enjoys a boba chai while Spencer questions her loyalty when she dares admit she is going to Lauren, Audrina and Lo's housewarming party.
• Il Cielo: When Stephen drives up to this place with Lauren, I totally thought they were getting back together. I mean, really. The place is all about the romance, but of course, Stephen totally shoots that down when he talks about defending their dinner to his mother as a platonic outing. And didn't Lauren look disappointed before saying the same? Still, though, that ride home when she was reminding him of their high school rides, with him rushing to get her home before her curfew? So sad.

The Look: As fashion-crazy as these girls are supposed to be, I never find their outfits particularly memorable. Also, the intense eyeliner the girls abuse is starting to age them. Aren't they all supposed to be, like, 22? The only girl who looks even close to age appropriate to me is Lo, and I would expect no less as she is awesome. Or maybe it's because she has no crazy relationship drama to cause the kind of stress that can age you? The hair is good, and I liked Lauren's ornamental braid with the one-shoulder dress for her dinner date with Stephen.

Lauren, Audrina, and Lo's new Mediterranean house looks great. I wonder how Audrina ended up in the guest house -- banishment? Though if she's still hanging with Justin, then it's probably for the best. Lauren and Lo aren't doing a very good job of hiding their derision of him.

The Talk: Heidi guilts Stephanie into not going to the party, calling her shady when she came clean. Spencer calls Stephanie disloyal. Justin tells Audrina she may not win if Lo and Lauren start in with their old bulls**t. Lo observes that Brody's new girlfriend has large breasts. Lauren finally realizes that while she enjoys seeing Stephen that she's ready to move on. Lo still hopes they end up together anway. Aw.