Aliens in America: Hunting (Episode 12)

I don't know about you, but I don't remember ever taking a career aptitude test like Justin and Raja did in this week's episode. Maybe if I had, I'd be flipping pancakes somewhere on the eastern seabard, or fishing for Alaskan king crab. Instead I am the new recapista for "Aliens", which this week sends the boys towards their future, and Gary to the emergency room with an arrow in his ass.

We'll get to that in a bit.

Raja hopes that the test reveals a future as anything but an engineer or a doctor (the two recommended careers for youth in Pakistan), which of course means that his suggestion is medicine. Taking the result to heart, Raja immediately proceeds to learning his medical jargon and dissecting his supper. Justin's test? Reveals nothing. He scored smack dab in the middle for every career option available. Even with a fake gun pointed to his head (thanks, Gary), Justin can't summon an idea about what he'd like to do. When he sees how laidback Dooley's stay-at-home dad with Dooley's adorable baby brother, Justin finds his destiny.

He'll be a stay-at-home dad, which not only means his life will be full of taking care of children and housework but that he'll marry someone with enough money to support him. Awesome. Where do I sign up? This revelation doesn't sit well with Gary, who takes the boys hunting, keeping in his tradition of hunting whenever Justin's behavior hints that he's not uber-macho. Raja, meanwhile, takes to the crossbow like a natural. "Like" is the operative word, as he mistakes Gary's ass for a tree and hits it with a practice arrow. The sight of all that blood grosses Raja out, so it's not the medical profession for him after all.

The ladies of the house are in a fight for reasons Franny can't fathom. When Gary and Raja demean Justin's domestic aspirations as mere woman's work, Franny takes that and Claire's bratty behavior as a sign to get the fuck out of there. Seeking refuge with a single girlfriend, the ladies hit what appears to be the one "cool" club in Medora. Naturally, Franny sees Claire and some of her underage friends sneak in. It doesn't take long for Franny to get in and bust Claire out, though not before her friend pounds a few shots, smooches Franny on the lips, and pukes in the family mini-van. With Franny deciding to keep Claire's adventure a secret from Gary, it looks like Franny and Claire are back to being mother and daughter again and not enemies.