Torchwood: Reset (Episode 206)

Martha: So am I right in thinking that you and he –
Ianto: We, dabble….
…Martha: So what’s his dabbling like?
Ianto: Innovative.
Martha: Really?
Ianto: Bordering on the avant garde.

For this episode of Torchwood, I’ve invented a drinking game. There are only two rules:
1) For every explicit reference to events from Doctor Who, take one drink. Every shot of Martha counts if you want it to.
2) For every other subtle reference, and / or prop placement from Doctor Who, take two drinks.
Based on these rules, even I’ll be completely plastered by the end of this recap and I’m not even a drinker by nature. I’ll try to keep a tally as this goes on, but I may miss a few. Feel free to widely interpret the second rule, if time (and liver) permits.

The episode begins with Team Torchwood out Weevil-hunting. It’s got to be almost a good day when Weevil-hunting is the only thing on the to-do list. Of course, instead of catching the Weevil (and all of them are named “Janet” in my head) they find a corpse.

Now we’re at the Hub and I hope you have your shot glass at the ready.

Actually, we’re in the tourist office / cover for the Hub and Ianto is doing what I’ve always imagined he does when he sits around there all day: he looks like he completely disinterested in his job and doesn’t even look at whoever it is who just came in. It beats just having a constantly closed tourist office as a cover, although, does Torchwood really need cover anymore? Is there one person left in Cardiff who doesn’t know about them?

Once the visitor shows her ID, Ianto stands at the ready, admitting her to the Hub.

Downstairs, Owen’s about to start the autopsy on the dead dude when Ianto announces that Jack’s, “VIP visitor is here.” Jack rushes off in glee; totally representing what the audience was feeling here. Now, who is this mysterious guest? Okay, it’s not like it’s a surprise since all the previews have been telling us it’s Martha-freaking-Jones!

Techno-Title Flash: complete with the addition of Freema Agyeman! I applaud, just like I did when John Barrowman's name was added to the credits in the last series of Doctor Who.

After Martha’s introduced to the team, I realize this Martha is more the Martha we were introduced in “Smith and Jones.” She’s strong and capable and not put off by Owen being, well, Owen. This is the Martha from “The Sound of Drums” and “Last of the Time Lords.” She’s capable of wandering the Earth, alone, and saving it through the power of stories and thought. This isn’t the Martha from “Evolution of the Daleks” or “Gridlock” who spent a good portion of the time simpering about the Doctor. In other words, this is the Martha Jones I like. How can I be sure? It has nothing to do with her new job at UNIT (drink). I’m given one simple visual clue.

By the way, Jack’s description of UNIT , is worth at least four or five good shots. He mentions not only the red caps, and their overall purpose, but also how Torchwood is better looking. Amen! I’ve seen pictures of Lethbridge-Stewart.

Martha adeptly handles the exposition dump for this episode, as she explains there have been a whole bunch of mysterious deaths written off as something other than what they are. The one thing they have in common, a needle-mark in the eyeball. Uhh, ew. They’re all given ammonium hydroxide. Also, there’s a high concentration of these killings in South Wales. Well, duh. If it were in Glasgow, that would be Torchwood 2’s domain.

Oh yeah, and Martha pwns Owen, repeatedly. This is totally the Martha I love.

As for the victim, his NHS records have been mysteriously wiped. Mysteriously, a word which here means "obvious set-up."

Now, if you aren’t feeling a bit tipsy by now, by the end of this next scene, you should be completely pissed. Jack and Martha are reminiscing. He asks about the family, (1 drink) comments on how they’re part of the “end of the world survivors’ club” (1 drink) and asks if she misses “him” (and another drink).

Martha, the new confident, grown up Martha, admits she does sometimes, but that she made her choice (1 drink). I’m hoping that now that we have had both Martha and Jack, guest on other shows that the Doctor will have to follow just to keep the tradition going.

Another interesting thing is that there’s this weird sort of acknowledgement that, technically, as Martha works for UNIT, that she could be considered Jack’s superior. Now that’s a whole plotline that could’ve added a whole slew of messes, but Jack’s a confident guy and I bet he wouldn’t mind having Martha Jones in charge of him.

Despite this, he seems a little hurt that she didn’t come to him for a job. She claims that she wasn’t and that UNIT came to her, because of a recommendation from an “impeccable source.” Jack points up, and we all know who it is they’re talking about. If only he would appear, as if on cue and then Spy could die a happy recapper.

Jack thinks that both her reference, and himself, and the world, owe Martha a favour. For that line, you’re owed another drink.

After the seriousness of the end of the world survivors’ club (they need t-shirt for that, don’t you think?) Jack reverts back into true form and asks for a red cap (swig people!) for Ianto. Now, if you need to take a break and rehydrate for the next 24 hours. I understand.

Jack gives Martha the guided tour of the Hub and Gwen tries to figure out who is the female in Jack’s life who isn’t her. When Gwen asks if Martha and Jack, well, you can figure what Gwen would ask, I’m wondering where the slightly jealous thing comes from. Gwen’s downright relieved when Martha confirms that while things were intense (drink people!) there’s never been anything between herself and Jack, that way. Well, yeah, since they were both competing for the same guy, I’d guess not.

I love how Martha calls her on it, by asking if Gwen and Jack are together.

Of course, when Jack calls, asking if the ladies are talking about him. I think he just pwned them both.

Now comes the important piece of equipment of the episode. It’s alien tech, aka: singularity scalpel that allows the user to remove something, without damaging anything around it. Except, when Owen tries to use it, he nearly injures Ianto, so if he was planning to impress the new and improved Martha Jones with his mad singularity scalpel skillz, there’s only one thing to say.

Unfortunately, the hilarity doesn’t continue as the teams been called to attend to the victim of another attack. The difference is, this victim is still alive.

The witness, Marie, is elusive at first, wondering why she has to repeat her story. Again, why doesn’t someone just say, “Well, we’re Torchwood,” as that would explain everything to any citizen of Cardiff.

Martha takes the blood samples back to the Hub, where she and Owen do a strange version of Cocktail-style bartending, except they’re throwing around medical equipment. Owen tries to pry Martha about her relationship with Jack but all Martha has to say is that they go “both forward and back” as well as they were “under the same Doctor.” Not only is that three shots-worthy, but also the inspiration for some serious NC-17 fanfic.

Martha gets back on track as she realizes the ammonium hydroxide was meant to destroy a vital clue in the victims’ bloodstreams. Later, the team realizes that this is a conspiracy. Quick, call Mulder and Scully! Now, how awesome of a crossover would that be?

There’s another attack in the woods, so still no witnesses, just another victim, Barry Leonard. Except, Barry Leonard was just an innocent student, and other than the student loans’ people, there aren’t any clear suspects. Just as the team is without any further information, Martha is called to the hospital because Marie is seizing. This is odd, because, according to all the blood tests, Marie is healthy as a horse.

Marie’s a little more forthcoming this time around. I’m not sure whether it’s the seizures or having two ridiculously good-looking doctors standing around that inspires her. Actually, I’ll have to go with the seizures as I can’t imagine anyone not caving in to Jack not like that, okay maybe exactly like that.

Se confesses that she was HIV positive but was cured (and paid) by medical-research facility “The Pharm” which so sounds like a prefabricated hip-hop group. They gave her a drug called “Reset” which was supposed to fix her. It works, sort of, as her blood is clean, but now she’s dead. Well, death cures everything.

When she dies, strange bee-sounding things fly out of her mouth.

While Martha and Owen are with Marie, Gwen interviews Barry Leonard’s best mate, only to learn that Barry was diabetic, but was cured. Both Gwen and Ianto are taken aback by that but I notice that everyone’s standing around holding mugs of coffee or tea, but not drinking it. There’s an obvious reason.

We’re again at the Hub, and they’ve figured out that alien larvae are living in humans. Uhh, ew! Owen compares the larvae to a virus scanner, as it supposedly cleans the blood of anything bad. So, essentially, it’s the alien version of maggots or leeches, just that the leeches don’t kill you later.

As for the Pharm, my ever reliable fictional Welsh boyfriend, has found out that it’s headed by a man who tries to hide that his alcoholic wife is a murderer, has a transgendered daughter and a playboy / screw-up son. Oh yeah, and he’s dead. Wait, that’s his other show .

So, Dr. Aaron Copley accidentally drowned and – nope, that’s still another of his shows.

Okay, I’m sure I’ve got it right this time. Dr. Aaron Copley was ripped off by his partner while having a heart attack and – okay, that would still be another of his shows.

Okay, so even though we’ve learned that Owen admires Dr. Copley for his work, we’ve learned one other thing.

Owen and Jack go visit Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron at the Pharm, and find out there is one other place in Wales, other than Torchwood, that can walk all over whomever they like. Therefore, Owen and Jack are told squat about what’s really going on. In fact, the Pharm has more clearance than even Torchwood does, making Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron another person who, technically, could boss Jack around.

Although, it’s important to note that Jack rejects the idea of the Pharm’s superiority based on political influence, as he had “a bad experience with a politician recently.” Drink up!

Before they leave, Jack’s wrist-assist says that the Pharm has more aliens than anywhere that isn’t on the other side of the Rift.

So back at square one, and the Hub, even tosh is stumped by the Pharm, being unable to hack into the computers. But Ianto’s found a back door into things (will not comment) as the Pharm is looking for test subjects. So who in Torchwood would have the medical know-how, stealth skills and fast-thinking necessary to infiltrate the Pharm?

Jack’s totally anti the idea and tries to justify it by saying that they don’t know enough but Martha references another alcohol opportunity by saying she’s been in “worse places.” Thus, Jack agrees.

Owen’s behaving around Martha the way he did around Gwen, when he was sleeping with her. He’s all protective and doesn’t want Martha to go. I can’t help thinking something rather cruel about Owen.

“I’d rely on Martha if the world was ending; in fact, I did.” Jack assures him. Anyone out there still conscious to read this recap?

anto helps prepare Martha by going over the blueprints of the Pharm and advising her to stay invisible. Been, there, done that, she says. (If you still have any left, drink now.) She’s also got to get access at the computers, so that Tosh can download anything they need. She’s rather disappointed she isn’t going to get to play with the aliens so she picks another subject, Ianto. She brings up the UNIT cap, and Ianto tries to fob it off by saying that red is his colour but Martha won’t let it go. Thus we get, what I think, is the best quote I’ve ever selected to start a recap with.

Oh, and that last line, someone should put on a t-shirt. Get on it people over at Café Press.

Martha’s given the fake ID of “Samantha Jones.” If you consider that an old-school reference, drink. But whatever you do, don’t assume it’s that Samantha Jones.

She’s given a pair of awesome contact lenses that allow team Torchwood to see what she sees and communicate with her. “I am a camera!” Martha exclaims, giving Jack a chance to reference Christopher Isherwood. Well, at least he didn’t reference Liza Minnelli.

So the Pharm tests Martha/Samantha’s blood and makes nice, asking her about her travels. Martha rattles off a whole bunch of countries. That’s a couple of drinks there people!

Martha nearly blows her cover of a post graduate creative writing student when she comments on how she’s always concerned about health issues. She covers by claiming her mother is a nurse, which is the one time you don’t actually have drink as the closest her mother comes to health care is slapping the Doctor. To ensure her admittance as a trial subject, she makes up a lie claiming that she has Hepatitis.

Martha settles in at the Pharm, while Tosh and Owen settle in watching Martha. Really, I should give this scene much more attention but, essentially, it’s more of Tosh fanning over Owen and being insecure about Martha before they move on to talking about the date Tosh asked Owen on. The only redeeming quality is that Tosh finally admits that it was a proper date and yet Owen still agrees. Unfortunately, it’s ruined by the simpering and the idea that Jack would have Owen’s kneecaps if he hit on Martha. Does Owen know nothing about his boss? Jack wouldn’t care, unless Owen treated her badly then it would be much more than his kneecaps.

At the Pharm, Martha sneaks out of her room and into the administration area with little trouble, and a little code-breaking, allowing Tosh to get into the computer system, despite what the dramatic music tells us. They find out that the parasite is called the “May Fly” which makes me wonder if that’s because it lives only 3 months or has a habit of adding “of mine” at the end of all relationship titles. Either way, that’s definitely another couple of swigs.

The computer system confirms a few things, the names of all the trial subjects and that they were all eliminated by a paid assassin. Fortunately, there’s one subject, Elin Morgan, who is still alive.

Even Martha’s escape goes pretty smoothly, that is, until there’s an escape alert, except it’s not her escape, it’s that of a May Fly. See, Martha’s bloody brilliant at being invisible.

She manages to sneak out onto the grounds, and through gates, without being noticed by a single human. What finally does notice her? The May Fly. Poor Martha, she’s invisible to humans and Time Lords but visible to alien insects. In radiates the cool contact lenses and fries her eyeballs. Ow.

As she’s distracted by the May Fly, security tranqs her and continues on the search for the escaped alien. So there is Martha, alone, out of contact with Torchwood, left to lie on the pavement.

Owen’s insisting the team do an all out assault on the Pharm to get Martha, but Jack wants to wait, as she’s been in worse situations. Drink up, if you still can!

While Owen, Tosh and Jack are trying to decide what to do about Martha, Ianto and Gwen are off to Elin’s flat.

They get there just in time to stop the assassin from killing Elin. The highlight isn’t the saving of Elin, no, it’s getting to see more of Ianto’s moves with a stun gun. Yay to Ianto’s weapon of choice!

Martha’s probably wishing she was still on the pavement as now she’s tied to a medical table with Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron about to give her Reset. This isn’t like retcom where it’ll give her a nasty hangover and the ability to forget unwise decisions. No, Reset will only let her reenact the death of Kane in Alien.

As for Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron, he’s discovered how interesting the blood of a time traveler can be and that Martha is an agent of Torchwood. So, there are another few shots for everyone. You know that whole debate from earlier about Owen wanting to rush in? Now would be a good time.

At least Martha tries to keep her cover, even as she’s injected with the Reset. By the way, Rest looks a lot like the colourful medications from that cat hospital on “New Earth.” Yes, I count that as two drinks as well.

Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron claims it’s all in the name of medical science. I’m thinking it’s just as much megalomaniacal science as it is medical.

In the Hub, the assassin starts confessing once he meets Janet.

He doesn’t tell us anything we haven’t already figured out but he does give us a preview of what will happen to Martha, complete with the exploding stomach. Although, in all fairness, it isn’t caused by the alien, it’s caused by Owen’s ineptitude with the singularity scalpel. Although, I bet if they went back and checked on Elin, they'd probably find a similar mess by now. Ha ha! Wasn't going to let that plot hole escape.

Although, as soon as Ianto’s about to dispose of the assassin’s body, Tosh has come up with another use for it, a way it can help them get into the Pharm and save Martha, who is really not doing so well at the moment.

As for Ianto’s response to Tosh’s plan, “oh you are warped on the inside.” Considering he was about to surreptitiously dispose of a corpse with an exploded gut, it has to make anyone wonder how bad Tosh’s plan really is.

So what exactly is the plan? Re-enact Weekend at Bernie’s and use the corpse as a way of getting ahead, or getting into the Pharm, by using it as a remote control driver to fool security. Well, as odd as it sounds, I have to be grateful for one thing.

Tosh, Ianto and Gwen go check out the aliens while Jack and Owen race to save Martha. Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron is so wrapped up in his own work, that he explains the scientific development of the larvae instead of caring that Jack has a gun to his head.

He’s also rather calm as he insists he doesn’t know how to stop Reset from working. Again, buddy, you have a gun to your head!

As for the rest of Team Torchwood, they’ve found out that the Pharm is a farm. They’re farming alien livestock for research purposes. Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron’s research assistant explains the value of a Weevil; they produce a chemical for pesticide and a foliate. Somehow, I don’t think “contains alien chemicals” would appear on the warning labels. She’s in it for the glory, just like her mentor, as she insists the May Fly is her path to the Nobel. As Gwen looks at the May Fly and it responds, in a gentle and pitiful way, we realize it’s probably sentient.

Inside, Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron laughs off Jack’s declaration that the Pharm will be shut down. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the last two series, never laugh at Captain Jack when he makes a declaration. You’ll probably wind up discovering that something’s in the darkness.

Jack explains that the shutdown will be total. The aliens will the euthanized, the computers wiped, and the buildings made unusable. He relates what the Pharm is doing to a war crime. He’s not wrong. The sad part is, usually in war crimes, the people who commit them don’t think they’re wrong either.

Of course, while Owen finally manages to work the singularity scalpel correctly, Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron makes his escape. On the other hand, one Martha is work a hundred of him so I’m all right with it. No matter what moment of suspense we have, no one’s going to believe that a Doctor’s companion is going to die on Torchwood, so when Martha wakes up, it’s a happy moment, but not surprising.

Owen helps Martha outside, recommending that she have a few days in bed under his supervision. Martha won’t even have him in gratitude as she tells him she’s got a boyfriend.

As Tosh shuts down the facility, Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron, holding a pistol, confronts the team with destroying all his work. Umm, yeah, this is the UK, isn’t it, WTF is it with all the guns?

Appealing to Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron’s better nature, Owen insists that the doctor really doesn’t want to shoot him.

And Dr. Bradford/Caleb/Jim/Aaron’s proves me right, and shoots Owen. Just as he turns the gun on Martha, Jack kills him.

The team rushes into action but there’s nothing to be done. Owen dies in the middle of the Pharm’s driveway. It’s sad and tragic but it’s not like any of you, who have had, at minimum count, 34 shots, are cognizant enough to notice.

If, on the other hand, you have the alcohol tolerance, we can take comfort in one thing.

We’ll just have to wait and see next week. That is, if people didn’t get alcohol poisoning from the drinking game. Then you might not be seeing anything at all. I probably should’ve recommended that Absinthe probably wasn’t a good alcohol choice.