This week, the two most easy-going teams have their worst leg so far, two family members get permanently inked, and The Race introduces yet another pointless and stupid element that won't be revealed in its entirety until next week (however, that doesn't mean I don't already know it's pointless and stupid—wasn't the U-Turn enough of a "twist" on this season already?).
Ron & Chris, catamoran victors , depart at 2:19 a.m. The clue tells them to take a bus to Split, Croatia, where they will take a ferry across the Adriatic Sea to Ancona, Italy. Chris believes that her relationship with her father has improved, and their first place finish on the last leg reflects that. Oh, Chris. Strike that and reverse it. Ron has been making a marked effort — with a hernia, no less — but once fatigue and stress set in even deeper, and he and Chris no longer lead the pack, his domineering self will be back bigger and more cringeworthy than ever. At least that's what next week's preview implies. (SPOILER!) She says it's "key" that she and her dad remain "cohesive and strong." I would label this entire interview as foreshadowing, but it's too obvious for that.
Kynt & Vyxsin rip their clue at 2:55 a.m. Vyskin sounds very excited about going to Italy, and Kynt is sure that they will fit in because Italy is "a place that's known for fashion, style, grace." Er. I would write a diatribe about why a person who deliberately chooses to be "unconventional" is so keen on mentioning often how he and his girlfriend will "fit in" (remember when he said that "they are going to love Vyxsin and I [in Amsterdam]"?), but it's Christmas, and I thought my gift to my reader (Hi, Mom!) would be to NOT go off on such a tangent. Happy holidays!
Nate & Jennifer, a.k.a. Nate-n-Hate, leave the mat at 3:45 a.m. Wow. Remember that they were tied with Ron & Chris at the end of the previous Detour. Their snap decision to ask a local to drive them to the Pit Stop instead of taking a taxi as the rules dictated cost them more than 90 minutes. There's more blah blah blah about the state of their relationship, and I couldn't care less about these two if they were contestants on American Idol.
The first bus from Dubrovnik to Split doesn't leave until 5:00 a.m., so all three lead teams catch up at the station. TK & Rachel depart from the pit stop at 5:37 a.m., and take the 6:00 a.m. bus. Nick & Don, who trailed the pack in the previous leg, are the final team to leave the Pit Stop at 7:06 a.m. They still don't like being in last place. Don's wish that "we bunch up someplace" is granted on the ferry, which carries all five teams from Croatia to...
Italy! They arrive at 9:40 p.m. and all of the teams, save TK & Rachel, initally run past the clue, which is instructions to drive themselves to Empoli, Italy, and find Campo di Silvano volo Poli (an airfield) in Comune di Cortenuova. Each team also scores a Product Placed Electronic Device that is for receiving messages only. Teams scramble for cars (stick shift!) and then ask locals for directions. Nate-n-Hate score with directions via Forli and Florence to Empoli. Locals tell them going through Bologna "from here now, no good." However, three of the other teams — Ron & Chris, Kynt & Vyxsin, and Don & Nick — all choose this route, much to the chagrin of the soundtrack. TK & Rachel are told to go through "Rome" at a local cafe, but they leave their clue behind. D'OH!
After they are on a freeway, TK & Rachel discover the clue is gone. They pull over to search the car and realize they must have left it back in Ancona. They are obviously frustrated and disappointed, but they never name call, shout, or declare everlasting hatred. Imagine — just imagine — what would have happened if Nate or Hate left the clue behind. Or Chris. Yowza. TK & Rachel backtrack to the cafe, steeling themselves for the possibility of being out of the Race. However, one of the women had placed the clue in her purse. Rachel hugs her and TK laughs, "This has been too much, man. I'm too mellow to handle this!" He adds that they found a faster way to get to Empoli, and he hopes to make up some time.
The Product Placed Electronic Devices begin chirping. Each one has a text from a loved one. Nate's mom and dad, Ron's daughter and Christine's sister, Vyxsin's mom, Don's son (most likely Nick's father), and TK's mom all score some airtime with their messages. Ron and Vyxsin each get a little sniffly. Nate-n-Hate drive alone through hilly mountain territory. The three teams traveling through Bologna discover that the road to Florence is closed until 6:00 a.m. Don & Nick decide to wait until it opens, while Ron & Christine and Kynt & Vyxsin take their chances on side road off the exit marked Milano. Mmmmm... cookies. Both teams feel the frustration of additional night driving in the mountains. However, Ron takes the time to compliment his daughter on her navigation skills.
Nate-n-Hate are the first team to arrive at the airfield. And the second pair? TK & Rachel. If it seems odd that these two highly different teams are so enthusiastic to see each other, it might date back to school spirit: TK & Rachel went to high school with Nate and Staella. Go Barons! Nate-n-Hate reach the cluebox first, and find a Roadblock as well as a Fast Forward. In this Roadblock, one player must ride in an ultralight and search a 6-square-mile area of Tuscany below for the name of their next destination. If they don't find it in 30 minutes, the ultralight has to go back and refuel.
Nate & TK decide to do the Roadblock, but Hate asks her partner about the Fast Forward, prompting Phil to LIE to the audience and say that this is the only Fast Forward of the entire Race. (According to Shana & Jennifer, there was one in the fifth leg, but no one took it.) Competitors will go to Fabio Studio — no, not
that Fabio — to "take part in a local seafaring tradition." Tattoos! Seriously. Teams will have to get two small ffs permanently inked under their skin to win it. The font is "Gothic" (insert your own Kynt & Vyxsin joke here), and reminiscent of this lovely piece. Teams won't know the task until they get there, however. Nate refuses to cave to Hate's insistence that they do the Fast Forward, and he is the first one off the ground. TK immediately follows. Again, think of the drama of Nate-n-Hate arriving to get tattoos. I'll bet the producers are kicking themselves at the lost opportunity; I, on the other hand, am quite happy that we never saw such a travesty.
Ron & Chris and Don & Nick arrive at Campo di Silvano volo Poli. Father and daughter run directly to the clue box but miss taking a number from the entrance; as they search, Ron is sarcastic and cranky. Shocking! Rachel says, "I haven’t heard him yell at her yet. I have no forgiveness or respect for the way that Ron talks to his daughter.” Grandfather & grandson decide to brave the unknown seafaring tradition at Via Giovanni Villani 17. Hate is "really, really upset right now." I hope that in the next episode, we see some comments on the tattoos and she can eat some crow. Not that I'm a big fan of Nate, but yeah.
Meanwhile, Vyxsin has a minor meltdown on the road; she's been awake 30 hours and is lost. Kynt takes over the driving duty.
Nate is the first to see "VINCI" spelled out in a field. All teams must drive to Vinci, birthplace of Leonardo, for their next task. In the car, Hate continues to carp about the FF. Nate says that Fast Forwards don't always work out. TK returns to the airfield after half an hour because he didn't see the clue. Chris takes off as TK's ultralight refuels. Chris finds it on her first flight, and Rachel becomes even more agitated as TK lands for a second time, still unsuccessful. She notes that Kynt & Vyxsin have caught up as the Goths pull in to the airfield. Vyxsin would "love" to go up in the ultralight. She and TK arrive back at the same time, Vyxsin with the clue, TK with bubkus. On his fourth trip, TK finally sees "VINCI" by the river.
There's some Not At All Misdirection as Nick & Don arrive at Fabio Studios, but they cowboy up and go under the needle. They're both get inked high up on their left arms; I wonder if they were allowed to choose the location, or if that was non-negotiable as well. With their skin temporarily red next to the design, and won't it be fun when they start to scab over, Gramps... and The Boy can skip all other tasks and go directly to the Pit Stop, the Boboli Gardens in Florence. They arrive first and also win a five-night spa trip to Cancun. I can totally see Don with goo on his face and cucumbers covering his eyes. Oh, and they get a private tour of Chichen Itzá. That's cool.
Nate-n-Hate park their car 3 kilometers from the Detour. Whoops! This week's choices are Invention and Tradition. In Invention, teams must build a replica of a centuries-old crane designed by da Vinci. In Tradition, players must go to Piazza Guido Masi to learn and perform a traditional flag routine together. Nate-n-Hate choose the flags, as do Ron & Chris. Ron says, "Have you seen some of his drawings? Oh, god. It is complicated!" You mean like this device for making sequins? Each pair flubs up their initial routine but manage to do well enough on following ones to pass. They each get a banner instructing them to Boboli Gardens. Nate-n-Hate are team number two, and Ron & Chris are team number three.
TK & Rachel and Kynt & Vyxsin both initially choose the Invention Detour at Vinci. However, the Goths immediately deem it too difficult, and decide to go with Tradition instead. This is where their day goes from bad to worse, as Vyskin gets lost, and Kynt yells at her. He screams at her to pull over so he can drive. However, when they switch, Kynt grinds the gears or something, because suddenly their car is inoperable. Vyxsin can't get it into gear either, so Kynt helps by telling her to shut up. Twice. They "leave the car for dead" and run to Piazza Guido Masi, hoping their replacement vehicle will be there when they are finished with the flags.
TK & Rachel calmly assemble the crane replica, Rachel at one point pushing the wheel with her wee arms. They both laugh. Hee. They complete the task and see Kynt & Vyxsin running on the side of the road. TK can't believe he and Rachel aren't last. At the same time that Kynt & Vyxsin learn their routine, TK & Rachel get a flat tire! He pulls into a gas station to change it. Kynt & Vyxsin complete the Detour. Who will reach the mat first?
TK & Rachel, who didn't cry, not once, during this absolutely insane leg. They are so surprised that they don't even hug each other. Kynt & Vyxsin, the last to arrive, are relieved to learn that this is one of two non-elimination legs in the Race. However, a new twist called a Speed Bump will be in play. This is a task only Kynt & Vyxsin must do, and they won't know when it's coming.
This was probably my favorite episode this season: High on actual drama, not the Nate-n-Hate or Ron kind. A particularly difficult Fast Forward (lots of people are anti-tattoo). Unpredictable travel snafus. I was really impressed with TK & Rachel, who never once turned on their partner or gave up. They thought they were done several times but they never quit, and I doubt that any other pair could have managed to build that crane with such patience after such a rough leg. And even though Kynt & Vyxsin both melted down, it wasn't as bothersome as Nate-n-Hate's frequent freakouts. Most likely because aside from the twee Gothiness, I believe that Kynt & Vyxsin really do care for each other and just had a really, really, really bad day. Or two days.
I am unimpressed with the idea of a Speed Bump. I suppose it's better than taking away all of the money (Seasons 5–9) or possessions (Season 7–9) of the last place team. I guessed being "marked for elimination" and incurring a 30-minute penalty for finishing in anything but first place wasn't exciting enough.
Next week: Kynt & Vyxsin try to stay in it, and Ron reverts to Chris bashing.
LEG 7: Dubrovnik, Croatia
Split, Croatia
Ancona, Italy
Empoli, Tuscany, Italy
Vinci, Tuscany, Italy
Boboli Gardens, Florence, Tuscany, Italy
PIT STOP: Boboli Gardens, Florence, Tuscany, Italy
ROADBLOCK: ("Who's feeling 'ultra' light of heart?")
1st: Nate
2nd: Chris
3rd: Vyxsin
4th: TK
DETOUR:
Tradition (perform local flag routine):
Nate & Jennifer
Ron & Chris
Kynt & Vyxsin
Invention (assemble copy of a da Vinci crane):
TK & Rachel
FAST FORWARD: Don & Nick (FF tattoos)
LEADERBOARD
Team Number 1: Don & Nick [previously finished 5th, 8th, 6th, 4th, 6th, 5th]
PRIZE: five-night trip to Cancun, Mexico
Team Number 2: Nate & Jennifer [previously finished 10th, 2nd, 3rd, 2nd, 5th, 3rd]
Team Number 3: Ron & Chris [previously finished 8th, 9th, 5th, 3rd, 3rd, 1st]
Team Number 4: TK & Rachel [previously finished 3rd, 6th, 2nd, 7th, 1st, 4th]
Team Number 5: Kynt & Vyxsin [previously finished 2nd, 4th, 4th, 5th, 2nd, 2nd]
ELIMINATED: Azaria & Henekea [previously finished 1st, 5th, 1st, 1st, 4th]
ELIMINATED: Shana & Jennifer [previously finished 6th, 3rd, 7th, 6th]
ELIMINATED: Jason & Lorena [previously finished 4th, 1st, 8th]
ELIMINATED: Marianna & Julia [previously finished 9th, 7th]
ELIMINATED: Kate & Pat [previously finished 7th]
ELIMINATED: Ari & Staella
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