A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila - "Three's A Crowd" (Episode 109)

It's a bittersweet experience for me to write this week's Tila recap, after hearing the news that Tila may not actually be bisexual and may not be looking for love - reality TV isn't real? I'm crushed, but I'll try to work through it. So anyway, Tila and the final three - Bobby, Amanda and Dani, are off to Cancun for their last chance to prove who they really were to Tila. Bobby feels "threatened." Amanda's just happy to be off to Mexico. Dani's confident that she's staying.

The trio pull up at a luxurious Mexican resort and they're overwhelmed. Bobby's never been to a hotel with a kitchen (or an elevator, it seems.) What a rube. Tila arrives (with really flat hair, do not like) promising fun activities and nighttime "intimate" dates. Tila feels confident in her selections because, although they were all so different, they brought different things out in her. They all fished for compliments from Tila during lunch. Bobby equates Amanda to a "circus creature." Amanda hopes to show Tila who her competition really is. Oooohhhh!

After lunch, the gang went to swim with dolphins. Dani enjoyed the "foot push," where a pair of dolphins push one's feet, propelling one across the pool. Tila said it was "like an orgasm...underwater." Bobby called the experience a "life-changing moment." Amanda, who lost her bottoms during the "foot push" said it was "the most action I've gotten in a long time." Thanks for sharing. Tila heads off to get ready for her first date...with Amanda, who will do "whatever it takes" to make Tila her woman. Amanda gets ready while being heckled by Bobby and Dani. Bobby wonders what Amanda has that he doesn't..."except height." Tila meets Amanda for a private, romantic dinner. Amanda's glad she got to go first. Tila lets Amanda be her royal taster (mainly because she can't identify some of the Mexican cuisine on the plate. If they got together, Amanda would definitely be the one who'd have to "smell check" the milk that's passed its expiration date.) Amanda says she feels submissive with Tila. TT asked if Dani could be her type? Amanda took the question as an opportunity to bash Dani. She told Tila that Dani was promiscuous ("she's open to cuddling with a lot of people." Since when is cuddling, although slightly icky, promiscuous?) Sounds like she's grasping at straws. Tila can tell she's nervous. Amanda goes on to say that Dani's happy being a firefighter in Florida and Tila needs someone who's got a broader idea of life and what it has to offer. She mocves onto Bobby, who she tells Tila has only lived in the city for a year and made fun of his rubiness and inexperience. She feels she's the worldly mate that Tila dserves. Tila says she connects with her and that they had an understanding. They headed back to Tila's room for desert and a bath. They did a little role playing (don't consider an acting career Tila.) Amanda claims she got what she wanted "and then some." Sure, she did.

Bobby was upset that Amanda had an overnight stay with Tila. He was disappointed to see them enter the room giggling. Amanda said they could feel the energy between them. Bobby got all snippy while Tila and Amanda continued to giggle. Tila notes that he's being a "sacrastic a-hole." The next activity Tila has planned involved who can "hang in there." Bobby hopes it doesn't involve heights, as he's afraid of heights. They head out for a zip line trip (which is a ton of fun - do it if you ever get the chance!) Dani was in her element climbing up the tower to the platform. Amanda turned out to be the chicken of the group. Dani was psyched. Amanda was shaking and crying. She finally overcame her fear, which impressed Tila. Bobby was scared - on the inside - but acted like the macho man he thinks he is. They all have another lunch (they're eating a lot on this episode, aren't they...they should have called the show "A Piece of Pie with Tila Tequila" or something like that!) and it's time for another date - this time with Bobby. She sends Amanda and Dani off on a shopping excursion (because Dani said she didn't have anything to wear for their date.) And...hey girl, hey! It's Keasha, but just for a lousy MTV promo. Oh, how I miss ya, girl!

Bobby heads off for his date and the gals head off for some shopping. Bobby hopes to make up for his annoying jealous routine from earlier in the morning. He greets her with a warm kiss - she wants to make up the morning to him (say what?) Bobby tells Tila that he thinks he's met his match and wants Tila to show him a whole buncha new things n' stuff. At least he's stopped tripping over his words so much. Amanda tries to "help" Dani find an outfit for her date. They both got frustrated trying to find a look for her. She settled on some black shirt (not much different than her usual look.) Tila and Bobby retire to a beachside bed (only in Mexico!) and share a little more quailty time and then it's time for the obligatory room visit. Now it's Bobby's turn to come in wearing last night's clothes. More tension. Dani said shopping with Amanda was "awful." Bobby thought both gals were jealous of him. Amanda still doesn't see him as a threat. Dani is really confident, and that bugs Amanda. Tila tells them they have the "whole hotel" to themselves. They hit the pool and Tila pulls Amanda aside for a little chat. She asked about Dani and her promiscuity. Amanda says she hits strip clubs three times a week (she hangs out with a bunch of dudes at the firehouse for Pete's sake!) Amanda appreciated the opportunity to tear down Dani a few notches. 

Dani's really looking forward to her date with Tila. Amanda's hoping it goes terribly wrong. Dani and Tila actually met up in her room - Tila wanted to "clear the air" before she could enjoy their date. She asked her opinion on Amanda and Bobby and Dani really didn't want to say anything negative about them (she's such a cool chick!) Amanda and Bobby decided to play dress-up to pass the time and get their mind off Tila's date. Bobby put on one of Amanda's dresses and bra and said he looked like the "perfect transvestite prostitute" because the tight dress afforded a clear view of his package. Dani and Tila shared a pre-dinner toast that brought tears to Tila's eyes. (There's no crying in bisexual dating!) Dani was touched to see the vulnerable TT. Tila is distressed and tearfully confesses that she's fallen in love with three people. (Ummm...remember what I said about not getting into acting, Tila? Remember those words.) Tila and Dani share a boring kiss and then Tila says "Let's go to sleep." Sleep. Not good for our girl Dani. It's time for the last, awkward breakfast.

The gang head back to the house and elimination is on everyone's mind. Tila is faced with what she says is a heartbreaking decision. Dani's still confident. Amanda's scared to be confident. Tila doesn't want to break anyone's heart and isn't looking forward to eliminating anyone. Tila comes downstairs (in a Jiffy Pop dress) with two keys. It's decision time. Dani gets the first key for getting TT to open up on a level she never had. Tila told Bobby that their Mexico date was sweet and she wants to keep him around. Buh-bye, Amanda! Tila said it was "nothing personal." Tila says she's crazy about her final two. We'll find out in two weeks - after the obligatory clip show (at least we get to see Keasha and Domenico one more time!)