30 Rock: Cougars (Episode 207)

Frank rocks a tank.: His butt has "Property of Jamie the Coffee Boy" embroidered on it.Hey Liz! Frank and Lutz are going to walk around Times Square pretending to be foreign. Liz can't join them, though, as her cousin is in town. Hey Liz! Jenna is going for a drink with Recently Divorced Camera Guy! Legally Separated Sound Guy's gonna be there! Aw, Liz doesn't feel well -- sorry! Hey Liz! Tracy's heading to an animals-only strip club. Are the animals the strippers, or are the animals customers? "Animal customers? That's ridiculous!" Too bad -- Liz has a date. Only she doesn't have a date. Jack calls her on her sad single girl activities -- meatball sub with extra bread and "Top Chef" -- before spoiling Liz's program ("Casey gets voted out!"). Blurgh -- what's a girl to do?

Tracy bursts into Jack's office with the baseball team he's coaching to fulfill a community service requirement (he hit a police horse with his car -- oops!). The kids hail from Knuckle Beach, the neighborhood in the city, and "they are poor as hell". Though Jack is excited for the kids, as baseball helped him achieve his own dreams as a kid, he is disappointed when he hears some of the kids' ambitions: "When I grow up, I'm gonna do vending machine maintenance!" "I'm gonna get shot by a cop and sue the city!" "I'm going to be a talkative doorman and have a drinking problem." Maybe Tracy isn't doing right by them -- they're 0-18, as they're missing a game as they're talking to Jack -- but then again, if their role models are Michael Vick and R. Kelly already. Clearly, Jack has some work to do.

Jenna ogles Jamie the coffee boy, who is delivering coffee to the writers room. Liz refuses to play along, as Jamie is just a baby. Jenna's flirting falls flat while Jamie is totally into Liz's sexy librarian vibe. Liz is flustered ("Nuh huh! You are! Shut up!") but intrigued, and she's not the only one -- Frank may be sweet on Jamie too. The writers scoff, but Frank wants to kiss him on the mouth and hold him. Sure, he reads "Boobs" magazine, but Frank wants Jamie. Is Frank actually gay for real, or just gay for Jamie? Can you be gay for just one person?

Practice is over at Jefferson Davis Park, but Jack is just getting started. He's going to provide them with new uniforms care of the Steinhardt Wig Company. Tracy's not convinced they're interested in winning, but Jack cannot be moved.

Back at the office, Frank is competing for Jamie's affections, but Jamie has eyes only for Liz. He guess that Liz is 29, and she doesn't correct him. She believes him when he says he is 25, so there is no reason why they shouldn't go out Friday night. After Jamie leaves, Liz argues that Frank can't be gay for one person. It's not possible unless you are Anne Heche. In any case, Frank has some thinking to do. Liz leaves to raid the wardrobe department for an outfit for her date. Jenna shares that she used to not sleep with Asians until, well, "You walk into a Sharper Image and there's Quan." Oh boy. Liz tries to flake out, but he looks like Zac Efron! Anyway, they're cougars, which is the hot new thing -- there was even a Vanity Fair article about it, Jenna points out. Anyway, Liz should be looking for clothes at Abercrombie, even if it is too loud. Jenna thinks she should get a ring pop, too -- cougars need to act young. Frank appears in a striped tank top and tells Jenna he's off-limits.

In Jack's office, Tracy is trying to convince Jack that there's nothing he can do for the Knuckle Beach kids -- what could Jack hope to achieve in a world where orange soda is an acceptable substitute for breast milk? Mmmm -- orange soda. Jack's firm, though -- if the US can go into any nation and impose his values successfully, then why can't Jack help the team? He doesn't need to understand their values to help.

Cut to a montage of the baseball diamond getting re-done, the Davis statue being pulled down, all while a Patton-like Jack watches with satisfaction. The team still loses though, and Jack blames Tracy. He promptly hires Kenneth to take over.

Liz and Jamie's date is going well, even if she does believe Gnarls Barkley is a single guy. She can't lie for much longer though -- when Jamie suggests nightclub Marquee followed by an after-party in Brooklyn, she confesses that she is 37. Jamie reveals that he's actually 20. Damn, Liz, if you're going to rob the cradle, at least do it with somebody who doesn't need a fake ID! Liz's situtation doesn't improve when she and Jamie run into Jack, himself accompanied by a cute young girl. Jack can hardly believe she's on a date, and with the coffee boy no less. While Jamie takes off to see if the new bartender will serve him, Jack asks Liz if they met through an Amber Alert. Seriously, though -- Jack thinks Liz should just have fun, and realize that she's a catch. She's got money, power, naturally thick hair, and a decent rack. Why shouldn't she be desirable to someone young, poor, and eager to please like Jamie? Also, she hasn't dated since she and Floyd broke up, so she needs to move on. And she does -- Jamie and the new bartender aren't getting anywhere, so Liz steps in to smooth things over.

Jack calls Kenneth (back at the studio) to check on the team, who are testing Kenneth's resolve. Jack advises him to "stay the course". When Tracy finds Kenneth, Kenneth tries to win Tracy back, but Tracy refuses: "I don't wanna talk about it, Ken. You'll hear all I have to say about Jack Donaghy in my tell-all book, 'Betrayal', colon, 'What Really Happened With My Baseball Team', comma, 'Disaster At Knuckle Beach', question mark," even drawing a question mark in the air with his hand.

The kids are brawling, having turned on each other. Destroying everythig but the bats, they see Jack and Kenneth, and immediately chase them down.

Back at the studio, Cerie is surprised that it was Liz she saw with Jamie at Marquee. Jenna has to compete, appearing with a teenage boy named Aidan who looks too young to be the NYU freshman she says he is. In the writers room, Liz is confident in the face of the writers' teasing -- Jamie likes her and laughs at her jokes. Enter Jamie, who is disappointed that Liz can't have lunch with him. But she bought him a video game! Frank got him a painting of a unicorn-mermaid with Bigfoot. Um, wow. Liz and Jamie make another date for the weekend.

Jack is trying to apologize to Tracy, who is still playing "I told you so." Jack proposes that they have two options -- cut and run, betraying the commitment they made to US soldiers, excuse me, the kids, or they form a coalition. Though Tracy does not support Jack's methods of waging war, sorry, COACHING, he supports the kids. He agrees to help Jack. What's the plan? "One word: SURGE."

Frank confronts Jamie about "what they're doing here". When Frank says of course they're straight, they just want to enjoy each other's bodies, Jamie leaves.

And the surge? Four words: Grizz and Dot-Com. Pretending to be mature for their ages, an enthusiastic Grizz and a mortified Dot-Coms swing their way to victory.

Liz and Jamie's second, and last, date. Jamie's super nice apartment is actually his parents' apartment, and his mom? Looks just like Liz. EW. Back at the office, Liz confesses her humiliation to Jack, who thinks Jamie's youth still gave her a fresh perspective on life. Jack also lets slip that he's no longer single, covering for Liz by saying his girlfriend is actually the company. When, of course, we already know it's Democratic congresswoman C.C. Ooh, I think somebody's gonna get busted...

Elsewhere, Frank is dancing at a gay club, having a gay old time, but decides to leave his new friends. It's misleading for him to be there when in fact he's only gay for one person. The gays, though, are still sad to see "Sexy Bear" go.

Poll: Is it possible to be gay for one person?