A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila - "Welcome to the Family" (Episode 108)

It's "Meet the Parents" day on "Shot." Bobby's nervous because Ryan, his main competition, comes from a wealthy background and he doesn't. Dani's looking forward to Tila meeting her "firehouse family." Amanda told Dani that she had 6 "retarded" brothers and sisters - isn't that kinda politically incorrect?

The first stop on the parent tour is Worcester, NY, home of Bobby. Tila tells us that she's nervous that Bobby never dated a gal like her before. Bobby's big night with Tila is spent at the neighborhood bowling alley. TT's not much of a bowler, but Bobby is (he's playing with a "blue ball.") Bobby starts babbling again and confesses his concerns to Tila. She doesn't help matters by telling Bobby that she thought he was from the more Manhattan-ish area of New York. (But, TT is from Texas. Who knew?) They head out into "the boonies" to meet Bobby's folks. Bobby's whole damn family is at the house - Mom, Dad, brother, Stepmom and Stepdad (what a cozy little group!) Bobby tells them that there are 2 boys left fighting for Tila's affections. Oh yeah, and two girls. Cue record scratching sound, and surprised look on Stepdad's face (and he is rocking the Sam Elliot from "Mask moustache and white mullet look.)

The Bobby family and Tila sit down to eat. Mom thinks if she simmers down, that she'd be a good match for their son. Tila then begins to make Bobby's brother feel completely uncomfortable by hanging on him and trying to get him to wipe off some whipped cream that ended up on her chest. Mom's not impressed, and she leaves the table. Tila chases after her for a little one-on-one time.  Of course, Mom's won over by TT's charms. Mom even said that if she were younger that they'd be standing on bars together. Awww. Bobby says Mom sees a lot of him in Tila - in fact, he'd like to see a little of him in Tila as well. Wakka wakka.

Next stop is Pacific City, Oregon and A-man-da's family. The pair head down to the beach to fly kites. Amanda admitted to Tila that she had a slightly troubled past, complete with drugs. Tila noted that Amanda had a similar lifestyle to hers and was glad to see her serious side. They make a little kissy-face and head over to dine on a sand dune with the folks. They all get along famously and start cutting up. Amanda finds a bottle of "virgin water" (whatever that is) and Tila cracks that she "definitely ain't no virgin." Dad cited her for TMI, but he laughs anyway. Amanda's stepmom said that Tila struck her as "feisty" and a lot like Amanda. The folks aren't fazed that Tila's bisexual. Pop tells Tila that he and his wife have adpoted 6 "medically fragile" children (much nicer than how Amanda put it earlier.) Tila's says she thinks these parents are "so...Zen." Dad thinks she's "perky." (Her dad is actually really cool.) They head to the house to meet the rest of the family. Stepmom said Tila fit right in with all of her kids (not sure if that was a compliment or not...oh well!) Tila says she feels "very at home with this family." Amanda feels "so much closer" to Tila.

It's time for Tila to head off to Trenton, New Jersey and Ryan's family. Ryan picks her up in a Mercedes (well-played) and takes her to a restaurant to meet his (lunkhead) friends. They warn Tila that Ryan's dad is kind of a hard ass. And he's got bags of dough. Ryan's folks have a nice crib. Tila locked her eyes on Ryan's sister and thought she was hotter than he was. The sister, Lauren, thought she was "exotic." Cue record scratch number 2 and an awkward silent pause from sis. Don't make it happen if it's not there, MTV. Ryan spills the beans to his folks about Tila's sexual preference and they both have that "oh...that's so nice" face. More awkward silence. Ryan thinks his folks may have been "taken aback" that he brought a girl like Tila home. (Ya think?) They have a slightly uncomfortable dinner, which is preceeded by (another record scratch - geez, don't they have any other sound effects?) a prayer from Tila, thanking him for Ryan's "super hot body" and his "super hot family" (especially sister Lauren, who has emphasized repeatedly that she's strictly-dickly.) Tila opts to use the dinner to discuss the chocolate pudding challenge, and the fact that Ryan took her shirt off during their frolics (note: never use the words "chocolate" and "nipples" together in a sentence when meeting your dates' folks for the first time.) Dad did actually have a "moment" of sorts with Tila, as they had both come from nothing and achieved a lot (he's a successful businessman, she has over 2 million "friends" on MySpace - yeah, they've got a lot in common.) Ryan took Tila on a tour of the house - an excuse to get her in a private room for a little makeout session. Tila thought it was hot. It was time for her to bid adieu to the Ryans, and sis Lauren gets the biggest hug (of course.)

Tila arrives in Deerfield Beach, Florida (my old high school stomping grounds!) to meet Dani's friends. Dani takes her to meet her co-workers at the fire station. The guys are excited to see Tila and Tila sure seems excited to see them (she jumps right up on one of them.) Tila wanted to see the pole (of course she did) and (in the least surprising moment of the episode) did some stripper moves on it. Dani's co-worker, Chad, certainly seemed impressed. They headed to the kitchen for some shrimp scampi. Dani gets a ringing endorsement from the guys. Tila was glad to meet Dani's crew and actually said (out loud) "Firemen...they're like heroes." It's now time for Tila to meet Dani's "parent" (Dani made it perfectly clear about that.) Mom, Grandma and some miscellaneous cousins were on hand to meet Dani's new "friend." Of course, Grandma knew Dani was gay before anyone else ("I wasn't born yesterday.") Oh by the way, Gramma is also strictly-dickly. Tila offers to give Grandma a lap dance, and she eagerly accepts ("Put that little butt on these knees.") I love Dani's Grandma! Dani's mom hopes that Tila is sincere about her daughter because she deserves the best (which is why she probably should never have signed up for this show.) Mom and Tila bonded as well and the family touched Tila's heart.

Tila and the final four head home and Tila's having a hard time trying to figure out who the one for her is. The gang is happy to be back and compare notes on their visits. Amanda thinks her date went the best (but did Tila give her grandma a lap dance?) Tila is having a particularly hard time with her elimination decision this week, as she now knows so much more about the quartet. Tila brings three keys to the ceremony. Bobby gets the first key and my girl Dani gets the second one. It's down to Ryan and Amanda. Of course, Amanda is the third to move on to the next round. (Bobby is concerned that he's now the last man standing.) Next week, the final three head off to Mexico. Adios for now!