A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila - "I Always Get What I Want" (Episode 105)

The gang was still talking about Ashley's elimination meltdown from last week. Bobby was  happy that it gave him an excuse to spend some unplanned one-on-one time with Tila (he was fine, of course.) Everyone else was drained. Ryan took it upon himself to "lift everyone's spirits" with an air horn wake-up call. Vanessa still hates men. Michael reads the message - since things have been dirty as of late, it's clean up time. The gang have pink and blue bikinis with what look like buffer pads on them to put on. It's car wash time. Tila wanted some good clean fun after the recent drama. She wants to see the competitors' creativity in cleaning. The gang heads outside and finds two filthy Hummers (the SUVs, come on people!) Tila appointed Michael the leader of the blue team and Domenico was chosen as the leader of the red team and the two boys got to pick their teammates "playground style". They picked through all of the boys first. Poor Vanessa was the last picked. Michael's blue team consists of him, Ryan, Bobby, Amanda and Ashli and Domeinco's red team is made up of him, Steven, Dani, Brandi and Vanessa. The winning team gets a spa day with Tila and the losing team has to camp outside overnight. They've got 10 minutes. They proceed to wash the vehicles down with every body part they have. Domenico chose to clean the tires with his c**k, he said it was fun. Brandi said he was enjoying himself so much because that was "the only Hummer he's going to get." Michael was happy with his team, as Amanda was using her hair and Ryan was actually licking the truck. Ewww. Vanessa, of course, had to make her self the center of attention.

Michael's team won the challenge and Vanessa's pissed. Ashli walked in on Brandi and Bobby talking about sexuality. Bobby thinks Ashli's just confused and she's wasting everyone's time. Ashil just wants to live her life the way she wants. Tila takes the winners off to the spa. Amanda was looking forward to time with Tila. The girls get facials (oh come on, get your minds out of the gutter, they're in a spa!) The boys seemed to be enjoying themselves with manis and pedis, but Tila wanted them to now get the full spa experience -  with a waxing - so they can see what women really go through. The boys get their pits and pubes cleaned up. Michael even gets his ass waxed. Tila then asks him to get his balls waxed. Amanda can't help but watch. Tila spent some special one-on-one time with Tila. He was really nervous and kind of babbling. Tila's noticing - maybe he's really falling for her. Amanda really should have washed the facial crap off her face before talking to her. Ashli should have too. Tila thinks Ashli is looking up to her. Michael looks like a bad Batman villian with each half of his face covered in a different colored skin treatment. He's proud of himself that he's "manned up" and is fearing getting his heart broken.

Tila used her outdoors date with the "losers" as an opportunity to open herself to them. They have a campfire with s'mores. Brandi obliged to Tila's request and was the only one who listened to her needs. They spent some one-on-one time. Brandi was a foster child and Tila "captured her heart" because she was "sincere and comforting." She says she's falling in love with Tila. Domenico felt a real connection, he said he didn't even want to touch her, lest he ruin the moment. He confessed to her "I haven't touched myself since two months." (He probably was better off going in for a touch!) Vanessa is too real (aka a bitch.) She's a totally different person when she's alone with Tila. Steven had a "drill sergeant dad." Dani is able to actually talk to Tila (finally) and got a kiss (with an Indigo Girls tune in the background.) Tila said she had so much fun with the losers that she couldn't let them sleep outside. Awwww. Vanessa decided to go skinny dipping for some sort of attention (Brandi didn't know from who exactly.) She said she wanted to have sex with Bobby and made inappropriate comments towards him. He told Amanda his concerns - he calls her a "filthy animal." Vanessa comes into the conversation and asks Bobby if he's getting sexually frustrated because he wants to do her. Amanda says she feels like she's "in high school...no, no middle school." Bobby went into the kitchen to get away from the drama. Vanessa won't leave it alone. (Side note: Steven in glasses is HOT!) The rest of the gang confront Vanessa and tell him to lay off. Vanessa feels persecuted and throws her drink at Brandi. Brandi wants to scrap and Dani holds her back. They finally have a catfight-free confrontation and Vanessa finally storms off. Brandi says Vanessa is the most confused person in the house and she will not let her end up with Tila.

The next morning, Vanessa woke up outside and decided she didn't care about anyone else, except Tila, of course. It's time for another message, they are going to celebrate "Tila de Mayo." The gang are split into teams once again, but this time it's boys versus girls again. They have to don sombreros and spin around in barber chairs, grab a tray of margaritas and deliver the tray to Tila's table. The winners get to hop in the limo and hit a hot spot with Tila (and of course get more "QT with TT".) The guys and girls are close throughout the "race" and it's down to Steven and Dani. Bobby said that Steven was fast, "he's an athletic guy. Dani's a firefighter, she's an athletic guy." Steven got to Tila's table first, but knocked over all of his drinks, Dani didn't. Girls win. Amanda was so happy that "Butch saved the team, as she always does." The guys were worried as the next time they would see Tila was at elimination.

Tila and the gals headed for Tila's favorite Mexican restaurant for a fiesta of their own. It seems, through some vague conversation, that Tila may be leaning towards the gals. Tila asks about what's been going on in the house. Brandi brings up the Bobby versus Vanessa incident. Vanessa tried to play innocent. Tila was upset that there was too much drama between the people in the house and that she doesn't want to be made to look like a fool. The girls kind of ruinied her night by talking about other people's drama. She didn't feel appreciated and was "turned off" by the whole thing. Tila talked to Vanessa (with 2 giant glasses of wine.) Brandi said Vanessa was "like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde." Basically, Vanessa was scheming to get Bobby sent home (let us not forget that Vanessa is a dancer, kids. Manipulation of men is just another day on the job for her!) Tila got home and wanted to get Bobby's side of the story. Bobby thinks maybe Vanessa has a drinking problem and insists he's done nothing wrong. Tila wants to think about what they both had to say. Bobby fears he's heading home.

Tila's cutting 2 tonight at elimination. She realizes she's going to have to make sacrifices to find "the one." Dani, in a surprise move, gets the first key. I actually like her a lot, although I still can't figure out why she's on the show - she seems way too well-adjusted for all of this. Ryan gets the next key (he's playing the "under the radar" card.) Brandi, who says Tila is soon to be her girlfriend, is next. Domenico (thank God, this show will be so dull if he leaves!) and Amanda are next. Steven is alsosticking around. Tila calls up Michael, Bobby, Ashli and Vanessa. Since they have to keep a troublemaker around, Vanessa gets a key. Tila says she respects Ashli too much to keep her around. Poor Ashli has "lost her first love." Tila keeps Bobby around as well and Michael heads back to mom's couch (but at least his balls are nice n' smooth!) Kudos, MTV, for playing Ozzy's "Mama, I'm Coming Home" as his farewell music! Take one last shot for ol' Mike everybody - hey girl, hey!