30 Rock: The Collection (Episode 203)

How about we do "Business Section"?Jack and Jonathan are sharing a contemplative, dare I say intimate moment, on Jack's patio (must get one of those for my cubicle) when Liz interrupts for some questions for Jack. Jonathan leaves in a huff, allowing Liz to ask Jack about a call she got earlier in the day from a G.E. lawyer. She had to tell the lawyer what kind of a boss he was and what kind of an animal would best describe him (eagle with the head of a bear, in case y'all were wondering). Jack is excited, as this confirms the vetting process has begun. Jack is well on his way to becoming the next chairman of G.E. But he's done some things, so Jack's hired his own private investigator to find dirt ahead of the G.E. investigators. Taken aback, Liz tries to protest but Jack won't hear it -- he's too busy on his pretend phone talking to Liz's therapist to care.

Liz is pleasantly surprised to find Tracy at work on time, quietly working in his dressing room with a woman who is actually his wife. Angie isn't offended, as she's back with Tracy on two conditions, the first being the ginormous diamond ring on her ringer (it belonged to Brooke Astor!), and the second that she and Tracy are together all the time. All he gets to do is work, sleep, eat, and "love on me". Tracy seems to enjoy being whipped, but he needs constant adult supervision. Angie recruits Liz for the cause, as long as Liz can resist falling in love with him.

Meanwhile, Jenna is pleased that her new weight gain has increased her fan base, both within the prison system and without. The fans are responding, as is Jack -- he actually likes Jenna more when she's fatter. Jenna's even the new spokewoman for Enorme, the number 1 selling perfume for plus-size women. Liz can't celebrate, as she has to intervene when Angie threatens to beat up the studio makeup artist for trying to, you know, make up Tracy.

Jack meets his investigator, Lenny (Steve Buscemi), to go over how the process will go. Lenny wants Jack to tell him about anything that might be flagged in his search, and Jack doesn't have too much dirt -- he was at the Democratic convention in 1968, but only to beat up hippies. His family are drunk, corrupt, and/or racist. There's some sex stuff, but Lenny prefers to find that stuff out on his own. Duly prepared, Lenny drives off.

Jenna barges into Liz's office, fretting over her belt. She's been losing weight, and is back to using the factory-made notches instead of the homemade ones she'd punched. If she continues to lose, she won't be able to play Ms. Pac Man in a live-action Atari game, she'll lose her Enorme contract, and Jack won't like her anymore.

Liz is pleased to see that Tracy is cooperative and helpful at the office, even coming up with ideas for sketches. So be on the lookout for "Business Section" in next week's episode, okay? Liz praises Angie's presence, which alerts Tracy to the fact that Angie isn't there. When Liz reveals that Angie's getting her hair done, Tracy sees this as an opportunity to hit the strip club. Aw, just like in the pilot! Good old Tracy! This is just who Tracy is, and while he feels bad, the only way he'll feel better is to get "booby-slapped by a coked-up Russian stripper".

Jack confronts Jenna about her purported weight loss. She doesn't have labored breathing, her skin is clear, and he's liking her less. Jenna tries to give him the old "Me want food!" but can't fight it. Jack takes the challenge, and assigns Kenneth to monitor Jenna's eating. Jenna has to gain: "Keep Jenna fat, keep Jenna funny". That's definitely going on a t-shirt, right?

Lenny's back with the results -- his history is clean, and his sex life "looks real nice". He will have to give up membership in an all-white club, fire his one undocumented immigrant worker, and get rid of the cookie jar collection. While Jack pleads ignorance, Lenny produces a picture of "Victor Nightingale" receiving a prize for best collection at a competition. If Jack doesn't get rid of the collection, Lenny says he won't get the gig. He even goes so far as to show Jack a picture of Rudy Giuliani and his Russian nesting collection. The collection that existed until 1989, the first time Rudy ran for mayor. His career speaks for itself, doesn't it?

Back at the studio, Angie wants to know where Tracy is. Liz feeds her a story about taking his pet cobra to the vet. Unfortunately, he doesn't pass the sniff test, as he reeks of Enorme and chrome polish. Duly busted, Angie takes away Liz's access to Tracy and to the show. Anything involving the show goes through Angie now -- ooh, snap!

Liz makes a go of it, pitching sketches to Angie who doesn't like any of them -- a bank robber sketch and a pimp named "Slick-Back Lamar" perpetuate Black stereotypes, while the Kuicinich-supporting Tracy will not play Barack Obama. When Liz leans in, and tries to apologize, her brushing Angie's knees is an affront: is Liz really trying to control Angie? Of course not but, sitting behind Angie, Grizz shakes his head furiously as Liz continues to fumble. Angie wants new writers, asking Grizz and Dot-com to start pitching.

Kenneth is feeding Jenna in her dressing room but she can't. He even pretends like the spoon is an airplane, and Jenna's mouth is the airplane hangar, but to no avail.

Jack is saying goodbye to his cookie jars, which are boxed up and sitting in the back of a truck. He trusts Lenny to get rid of his cookie jars, but protests when Lenny says he's going to take them to Jersey and burn them. Which is exactly what he did with Rudy's dolls. Makes sense, because they were wooden dolls, but ceramic jars? Not so much.

In the hallway, Liz bugs Pete for advice on how to win over Angie ("Tell her you like her nails!") before she runs into Kenneth and his problems. Walking and talking, Liz realizes that most women eat because hey hate themselves. Jenna is not eating because she feels great, so what Kenneth has to do is be mean to her. Kenneth doesn't have it in him, so he asks Liz for her help. Liz relents, then eagerly picks up a pen and some notecards to begin writing.

Up in his office, Jack is trying to find a buyer for his collection. Liz thinks the collection is an unresolved childhood thing -- why else would he have a jar that says "MOM" on it. Jack insists it's merely an upside down "WOW", though only after saying that his own mother never baked cookies for him and his siblings because they didn't deserve them. Liz gets to her problem with how out of control Angie is. Could she be placated with a consultant credit? The real problem is a family conflict, not a business problem. Jack thinks Liz should fight her -- the ensuing violence should be enough to drive Angie away.

Kenneth makes several valiant (if doomed) attempts at being mean to Jenna, reminding her of a litany of failures that range from fashion school to a relationship with magician David Blaine. Of course, Jenna finds this all to be an incredible turn on and begins making out with him.

Liz tries to offer Angie a consultant credit, which Angie immediately sees as a ruse. Changing tactics, Liz orders Angie to leave, stepping up on her and even going so far as to say her nails are tacky. Tracy can't take it, putting his foot down and reminding the ladies that there's only one person who's allowed to act like a horny child and it's him. Calling Angie on her stuff, Angie gets turned on and they proceed to get busy, leaving a shocked (though slightly impressed: "You start with that?") Liz to stumble out to safety.

Kenneth finds Jack in his office to apologize for his failure to "keep Jenna fat". Also, that they might have to get married now -- ha! Jenna's the real kind of crazy, Kenneth has discovered, and he's not so sure he can prevail. He finds solace, though, in Jack's cookie jar, and Jack is happy to give Kenneth the collection. Problems solved (for now -- are Kenneth and Jenna an item now? will Dot-Com and Grizz be hired as staff writers?), Jack swears at his giant G.E. flat-screen television in his fancy office and goes off to mourn his collection.