Pushing Daisies: The Fun In Funeral (Episode 103)

Boo Boo The Fool? Oh hell no!Narrator shows us 9 year old Ned -- still at boarding school, Ned is consumed with his gift, and how it works. Reminding us that Ned was gifted in a way that no other boy was gifted, Narrator talks us through Ned's discovery of the "grace period" component of his gift. Ned touches a dead firefly, bringing it back to life long enough that it kills a nearby spider. Ned doesn't time the interaction though, and it takes some after-hours experimentation with two bell jars of fireflies and a pocket watch to arrive at the magic number -- 60, as in seconds.

Meditating on the origin of the phrase "pie in the sky", Narrator gently brings us back to Earth. Chuck is pondering which birthday to celebrate -- the date of her actual birth, or the date of her re-birth at the touch of Ned. She likes the beaver t-shirt she got for her eighth birthday. But her new birthday appears to win this particular battle, as she likes the thought of being anyone, of starting a new life. She stops short, though, to ask Ned why those dead can only alive again for a minute before Ned touches them again. Ned stammers out a lame excuse about the effect of butterfly wings, which Chuck doesn't appear to buy, but no matter -- she leans in and kisses Ned through a fresh sheet of plastic wrap.

And if Olive didn't have a reason to hate Chuck before, she certainly did now -- Hurricane Olive catches the smooch, and actually stops breathing for a moment, that's how angry she is. Catching her breath, Olive meets her next customer, Alfredo, who breathlessly asks Olive for an espresso. No can do, as the espresso machine is broken. "It just sits there being pretty but no one touches it!" I feel you, but still: bwahahahaha. Also, this very nearly led me to an uncomfortable riff on personal appliances but I'll just leave it alone for now. I will say this, though: stop spending so much time with Digby, and get a hobby. Get Emerson to teach to knit.

Okay. Alfredo Aldarisio appears to be almost instantly smitten by Miss Snook, recognizing in her a kindred spirit. A seller of "pharmaceutical alternatives", Alfredo is haunted by the notion that the earth is losing its atmosphere -- this fear is illustrated by Alfredo, the espresso machine, and the rest of the Pie Hole very nearly getting sucked into outerspace. Which actually looked like of fun for, like, a second.

Enter Emerson: "I feel like ice cream." Olive immediately sets upon him, first fantasizing about seeing someone on fire, then blaming Emerson for telling her that Ned doesn't want her. Lady, the truth hurts -- no use in blaming Emerson for telling you something you, in all honest, most likely already knew. I'm only saying this because I love you, Miss Olive. Also because it's pretty obvious that Alfredo is meant to be your romantic interest on the show. But Olive is determined that she doesn't want anything that could be "frank" or "honest" when it comes to Ned, and how he may or may not feel about her. She's also decided that she doesn't like Chuck. While Olive dislikes Chuck, Emerson likes her even less. He has a new case to discuss, in private, with Ned, but Check's constant intrusions (really, just a symptom of her possible obsession with death) are making that impossible. Chuck wonders: "Do you think dying's made me morbid?" Well, if anyone deserved to be, it would be you. Also: ha! Emerson harumphs that they can continue their conversation the next day, when he expects Chuck not to be around.

The coroner gets lines! Emerson waits for Ned at the coroner's office. A nice man, if a bit dense, he opines that he could write a book on hand moisturizer. He offers Emerson some lotion from his personal bottle, and there they sit, peacefully rubbing their hads when Ned and Chuck show up. Emerson can't help but gloat at Ned's decision to bring Chuck when the newest victim turns out to be Lawrence Schatz, the robber funeral director whose demise was the consequence of Chucks' revival. Narrator gives Lawrence's age at the time of his death as "44 years, 17 months,..." which made me pause -- so you're saying he was actually 45? Narrator, while your voice consoles me your facts confuse me. But I still love you. It seems that Lawrence's not-quite-grave-robbing had been exposed a mere two days before his demise. While Ned freaks out when he recognizes Lawrence, Emerson is all smug and smirky -- he just wants to find the loot Lawrence stole. Ned runs out, and a confused Chuck runs out after him, reminding Ned that he didn't touch Lawrence. Ned explains that he already knows who killed Lawrence -- it was him!

After the commercial break, we see that Chuck is dismayed (and not entirely flattered) that Ned killed someone for her. Though Ned explains the random proximity of the phenomenon, and anyway it's like he's an "active" killer, Chuck is no less comforted when she understands that the life she is living is not quite her own.

Back at the Pie Hole, Alfredo finds Olive in a contemplative mood. He has observed, in a totally neutral (and maybe even complimentary way) that Olive is decidedly unhappy. And he has the solution -- bottled happiness! Producing a wooden case full of tiny drawers, he withdraws a few potions, all of which are guaranteed to give her the happiness she so craves (and deserves). Olive doesn't bite, as she works in "a pie house not an herbal crack den." What does cheer up Olive is the return of a clearly unhappy Chuck. Ned and Emerson repair to the kitchen, finally able to have their private talk. Emerson reminds Ned that he allowed Lawrence to die so that Chuck might live. Is Emerson now an accessory to murder? Was letting Chuck really an accident? These questions are complicated further by the fact that Lawrence's brother has hired them to solve what he is sure was his brother's murder. A lot of people were angered by the discovery that Lawrence stole the treasures of their dead loved ones -- that's a lot of suspects. While Emerson is confident they can ensure that the murder goes unsolved, they need to at least find the goods. Ned refuses, and resists cracking even when Emerson calls him "Killer". It isn't until Chuck comes in, wanting to talk to Louis, that Ned relents. Chuck thinks an apology to Lawrence, now back at the funeral home, is in order, and Ned is the person to make it. Chuck, meanwhile, can thank Lawrence for the life she has.

Back at the home, Louis introduces himself as Lawrence's survivor and twin. His t-shirt identifies him as a fan of the Darling Mermaid Darlings, aka Aunts Lily and Vivian. Louis is put out because the comeback tour they almost started (at the end of series premiere "Pie-Lette") was cancelled, namely because Lily and Vivian went back into mourning when they got Chuck's last postcard before her death. Louis is convinced that Lawrence was murdered -- not only did Louis know about the stealing, but he also saw all the hate mail that poured in after Lawrence was revealed to be a thief. Louis had pleaded with Lawrence to return it all, but apparently got nowhere -- according to him, Lawrence had buried the treasure, and only Lawrenc knew where it lay. All this got Louis thinking that perhaps Lawrence did not die of heart failure after all. And if Lawrence was murdered, is Louis next? Louis can't help but feel that his life has been tainted by Lawrence's misdeeds. He also can't help missing his twin.

hile he goes off to find the hate mail for Emerson to examine, Ned and Chuck get to work on reviving Lawrence. He's confused for a minute, but then recovers quickly enough to reveal that Louis was in on the stealing, and isn't this a nice watch he's wearing? Too bad the watch on his person had belonged to Chuck's dad, and was buried with her. She snatches it off, accidentally knocking the lid closed and stuck. With only 29 seconds left, there is barely enough time to open the casket and touch Lawrence for one last time. There was plenty of time, though, for Emerson to yell "Oh hell NO!" and run, frantically and hilariously, from the Schatz Funeral Home. Chuck examines the watch, and says that it's nice to get things back. Thinking back to Louis's disappointment at the cancelled Darling Mermaid Darlings tour, she wonders if the aunts are really in a dark place? Couldn't they just see. Ned has to break the news to her (again): "YOu can't see your aunts. I'm sorry." Narrator breaks in, rhyming throughout, that if Chuck couldn't re-gift her life, the least she could is come up with a way to share it.

ack at the diner, the trio looks through the mail. The hatefulness of it has Chuck thinking Lawrence was murdered after all. Didn't Ned already go over this in orientation? Emerson, meanwhile, is cheesed that they didn't learn where the treasure was buried -- I would be too if I had been played like Boo Boo the Fool. It's not like Emerson did anything wrong, but he should be able to find the treasure. While Emerson sits stewing, a shadowy man in a baseball cap drives slowly past the Pie Hole. Probably not interested in a slice of three-berry pie. Which is his loss, because it looks delicious.

lfredo finds Chuck, now alone, depressed after the day's hijinks. He advises her to bully her unhappiness, and "bully it good". Allowing her to peek at her remedies, he won't give her the bottles but he is happy to part with a few droppers of samples. Chuck squeezes a few drops into an apple pie, which is topped with Gruyere and packed for delivery. Just because she is dead to them doesn't mean Chuck can stop taking care of Lily and Vivian. Too bad Coeur d'Couers isn't on the delivery route. The surly teenage delivery boy won't take the pies but Olive will. Even though it's her day off, the Charles surname on the package is intriguing enough for a road trip a few towns over. It's hard to know if Olive was meant to accomplish this now meaningful chore, but the Narrator affirms that for certain Louis was meant to be with Lawrence -- Chuck and Ned find a now-dead Louis tucked into the Pie Hole refrigerator.

Pie for breakfast is all fine with Vivian, though Lily is a bit confused: 'Why are we having pie, and who the hell are you?'

Of course, it's not like they found him without yet another conversation about how conflicted and tortured Chuck is. Of course, the difference now is that she understands that Ned isn't a killer. Naturally, she sees Louis's body in the fridge immediately after. Before we can see what conclusion comes to next, the action jumps to the aunts' house, where Olive tries to sneak away after leaving the pie on their porch. Naturally, Vivian catches up with Olive, and invites her in for a slice. Pie for breakfast is all fine with Vivian, though Lily is a bit confused: "Why are we having pie, and who the hell are you?" The you being Olive, who carefully accepts her pie and, upon realizing the twins are the Mermaids, sits back to listen. The aunts notice the Gruyere crust, remarking that Chuck loved Gruyere. Also, the beaver t-shirt was from Ned, who apparently had a filthy mind as a child. Oh, and Ned was totally Chuck's childhood sweetheart. The truth -- of Ned's love, and of Chuck's identity -- "vibrated on Olive's tongue". Which means, I guess, that now that she knows who Chuck is, and was, and is again, is she going to tell somebody? Who would believe her? Is she going to blackmail Ned into loving her?

Chuck, kindly (though not without some amusement), tries to help 'Emerson The Pooh' wiggle through: 'Mind over matter makes Pooh unfatter!' Bwahahahahahaha!

Emerson gets a call at his office. It's Ned, calling to tell him about Louis's dead body. Emerson thinks it's a set-up, and whoever's responsible might be on to the fact that Ned is onto something. Which is all well and good, only now the police are knocking at the Pie Hole door. With the police pounding away, Ned touches Louis, who reveals that he actually choked on a piece of tongue. No foul play, except that he choked immediately after being confronted by an angry relative, who found a Civil War heirloom for sale on eBay. Though Louis has to expire for good before Ned and Chuck can find out where the treasure is hidden, at least they know who to start questioning about the set-up: Wilfred Woodruff, who is waiting for the trio when they arrive at the funeral home. While Ned is able to sneak into the basement through a basement window, Emerson's pillowy frame gets stuck. Chuck, kindly (though not without some amusement), tries to help "Emerson The Pooh" wiggle through: "Mind over matter makes Pooh unfatter!" Bwahahahahahaha. Hijinks aside, Wilfred is dueling with Ned, whom he assumes was part of the scam. Punishment for insulting the Woodruff family was death, and punishment is something Wilfred takes seriously. As a descendant of a Chinese railroar worker who, upon the demise of his White boss, was able to escape hard labor and assume the identity of a fallen Confederate solder (I know!), Wilfred takes his heritage very seriously. Well, Ned takes being the victim of a sword-wielding man pretty seriously, and wastes no time in acting when he see Wilfred charge at Chuck, who stands at the top of the basement stairs. Ned throws his own sword at the wall, tripping Wilfred, who falls down the stairs and is knocked out by a swift kick, courtesy of Pooh. Chuck surveys the scene, seeing Ned wrapped up in a red curtain and sees the Prince Charming she'd been wishing for all along. Even better, that red curtain? It's hiding the stolen treasure.

The day ends with a smug Olive returning to the Pie Hole to find the espresso machine repaired. Fixing herself a shot, she finds the coffee bitter, but only because the romantic gesture was lost on her. Narrator promises us it won't be lost for long. Emerson learns that he needs to lose weight, as he doesn't want to be wedged again. Lily and Vivian enjoy their pieces of pie, wedges of happiness to console them. Chuck decides to return the stolen heirlooms, which enables her to pay it forward without the annoying intervention of either Haley Joel Osment or Kevin Space. And Ned assures Chuck that had he the chance to relive that fateful day that brought Chuck back -- he is not sorry that she's still alive. Now let's excuse ourselves while Ned goes looking for some plastic wrap...

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