Friday Night Lights: Last Days of Summer (Episode 201)

I'm so happy to be back with my Dillon family I'd like to climb right through the TV screen and give them all a big hug (and maybe a little grope here or there). Y'all look good! Or, as Tim Riggins would put it, complete with throaty murmur and appreciative leer, "Like, real good." If you're new to the show, hang on to your bathing suit, because we're literally diving right into season two. If you're like me and you've been obsessive stalkerish a big fan right from the beginning, having them start the season with an extended scene at the Dillon community pool -- with more skin on display in two minutes than we saw in all twenty-two episodes combined last year -- is a little slice of Heaven. The kids have obviously decided to get it on, bang a gong, and wring every single drop of fun out of the last days of summer, or, as it's known in Dillon, the "pre-season."

"YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF, 'W.W.R.D.' -- WHAT WOULD RIGGINS DO?" -- At the pool, which is about big enough for the whole town, we get Julie in a lifeguard chair, subtly eyeballing another lifeguard (mysteriously dubbed 'The Swede'), while Matt looks on like the stray puppy he is. We get Landry ogling Tyra (or, as I like to call her, Trouble with a capital T), and really, who can blame him? She's decked out in a bikini and fellating a popsicle! Even I got a little tingle! She's cut her hair -- symbolic of change in her life? We'll have to wait and see. We get Smash talking smashtalk -- Matt says, "When did he get to be such a tool?" -- and we get Tim Riggins in a cowboy hat and sunglasses sharing a float with a couple of Rally Girls. Matt's concerned about Julie's wandering eye, but he's not sure 'W.W.R.D.' is really the answer for him, since it would undoubtedly involve punching the Swede in the face. Besides, Riggins is "Captain of the S.S. Ta-Tas over there," and probably can't really relate to worrying about keeping a steady girlfriend. Landry admits that Riggins has probably slept with half the girls at Dillon High, not to mention some of their mothers and sisters. Matt and Landry save their last ogle -- and an ogle it is, make no mistake about that -- for the very pregnant Tami Taylor, who mortifies her daughter by daring to show up at a swimming pool in a bathing suit. It's the first time we see the dark side of Julie Taylor this season, but hang on, because there's lots more where that came from. Julie accuses her mom of spying on her, getting snippier and snippier as Tami refuses to let her bratty daughter impede her progress into the pool. Tami finally says, "I miss your father, you never talk to me anymore, and there's not a room in the house that feels big enough to contain me." Which leads us directly to…

"EITHER I JUST PEED IN THE POOL, OR MY WATER JUST BROKE" -- It's a girl! A big-eyed baby girl named Grace, but we're just gonna call her Bug. Julie manages to set aside her teenage rebellion for the time it takes to coach Tami through labor, while Eric flies in from Austin, careening into the hospital in his maroon TMU uniform (which is nowhere near as flattering on him as Dillon blue) just in time for baby Bug's arrival into the world. Julie looks a little awestruck, Tami's just happy to see Eric, and Eric looks smitten already as he says to Dillon's newest resident, "Welcome to the family." I wish I could say it's all cuddles and bonding from there on out, but it doesn't take long for the cracks in the family foundation to show. Eric's been living in Austin and working at TMU for the whole eight months since the season ended. Julie barely acknowledges his existence, let alone his parental authority, fluctuating between sullen silence and back-talky bitchiness. Tami's got her hands full with the new baby, and when Eric tells her he's been called back to Austin within days of Bug's birth, it looks like he might have just yanked out the thread that's been holding Tami together. She manages to cling to her composure as Eric explains that he can't do the job half-assed, that he doesn't have a choice, blah blah blah. All Tami and I hear is, "I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm leaving you here all by yourself." He wants her to talk to him about it, but she just can't. He finally gets up and leaves, saying he'll be back later. As the door closes quietly behind him, Tami breaks down in sobs. Oh, Connie Britton, you was robbed. Fuckin' Emmys. By the end of the episode, they seem to found some measure of peace with each other, and Julie's not quite the raving bitch she was earlier on (more on that later). I still wish Eric would haul his hiney back to Dillon, and I'm sure all three Taylor girls agree with me, not to mention the Panthers themselves, as they struggle to get used to a new coach.

"THE PANTHERS ARE ENTERING 'THE FIERY GATES OF HELL WEEK', AND I, FOR ONE, COULDN'T BE HAPPIER" -- You and me both, Slammin' Sammy! Late summer means two-a-days, where our boys bake -- in full gear -- in 120 degree heat on the field. The new coach, Bill McGregor, the "Tennessee Tyrant," is making all kinds of waves. He gets all up in Tim's grill, screaming that he's a disgusting, miserable football player with no potential and no heart. Whoa, there, Coach McGetyourownteam. That's "Big Tim" Riggins you're talking about there, the Mack truck of the Panther offense. So what if he spent his summer knee-deep in pussy in a drunken stupor, you can't say he doesn't have potential! Or heart! The coach also bans a furious Buddy Garrity from practice, making it probably only the second time Saint Satan and Tim Riggins have seen eye to eye on anything (the first being the sun rising and setting on Lyla Garrity): neither likes the new regime.

[Of course, Buddy's on kind of a hair trigger, temper-wise. In addition to being closed out of practice, he's living in his office, and Pam's got a new boyfriend. I think he could have handled Pam getting her gong banged by another Boo(hiss)ster, or, really, any white middle-class Baptist Republican she set her eyes on, but when she hooks up with a health-store-owning, tree-hugging crunchy granola hippie who takes meditation classes and flashes the peace sign in lieu of the finger, well, that's about enough to drive our Buddy straight up the wall. Seeing the tree-hugger driving his truck is the last straw for Buddy. Good thing Eric Taylor had gone to Buddy for some late-night, 'my wife's pissed at me' male bonding time and is there to quell the fight that breaks out when Pam and Crunchy Granola come by. It could've been pretty ugly, otherwise; Buddy outweighs Crunchy by at least seventy pounds and has the added fuel of a metric shitload of pent-up self-righteous indignation.]

You know who else doesn't like the new coach much? Jason Street, who's rolled his way into a full-time assistant coach position. He tries to explain to Coach McGetyourownteam that's he's handling Tim Riggins all wrong, but the coach has his own bit of advice to give -- he says Jason can either be a symbol or team mascot or whatever, or their coach, but not both. "They can't be your friends," he says. Ahem. Coach, those boys are gonna be friends long after you've retired your whistle. Don't get too comfy; I don't think you're long for this particular corner of the world.

"THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING" -- I'm sandwiching this storyline here in the middle, because it upsets me, and I don't want to end on a downer. Let's talk about Landry and the Trouble he's about to get into. Given their chumminess at the pool, where Landry generously, lovingly and very thoroughly applies sunscreen to Trouble's back (or, as he puts it later to Matt, "I was literally inches away from copping a feel"), things seem to be simmering along nicely for our favorite geek and the bad girl who's trying get her shit together. They've apparently been hanging out -- in public, even! -- and one of the reason's Landry's trying out for the football team (!!!!!) is because he thinks it will give him a better shot with Trouble. That, and he thinks his dad will love him more. Yeah, because that worked out so well for Tim Riggins… It's all good, except the goddamn bastard who attacked Trouble last year is back, and he's determined to either finish what he started, or just finish her, period. He tries to mow her down with his car in the pool parking lot, then follows her as she's driving home. Smart cookie that she is, she drives straight to the Dillon Police station. Remember that, girls, if you think you're being followed: drive some place that's well-lit and crowded, preferably a police station or a hospital! Later, she's afraid she hears noises, so she calls her "knight in shining armor" to come out to her house and investigate. This time, though, the assailant's just a skunk. Trouble and Landry settle in to watch Fried Green Tomatoes, and Landry calls Matt from the bathroom for advice on how to get his arm around her, certain that if he can get that far, he's in. It's very cute, it's so cute, they're so sweet together, but I can't even enjoy the good parts because I know what's coming. Trouble showed with the police station thing that she can think clearly under pressure, so what happens next is almost completely inexplicable to me:

They decide to go get something to eat at a convenience store. Trouble waits outside the store, in the dark, all by herself (WTF?) while Landry goes in -- something about the Collette credit being bad. And here comes the goddamn bastard, who creepily asks how she enjoyed the movie. Eeeep! He was at her house, watching through the window! Eeeeep! But does Trouble scream her fool head off and run into the store, bad credit be damned, the way everything we know about the character tells us she should do? No. She just stands there while he walks right up and starts talking shit to her and then, once again, just like before, he ATTACKS her and SHOVES her and DRAGS her back behind the store. Landry comes out, sees them, runs toward them, dives in, gets punched, comes back up in time to see the G-D bastard point to Tyra and say, "I'll be back for you," and as the guy's walking away, Landry grabs a length of lead pipe from the ground, goes after him and WHACKS the guy in the back of the head.

Twice.

Oh. My. God.

Okay, so that's bad enough, right? I mean, holy shit. But do they go into the store, tell the clerk to call 911, wait for Landry's dad, the police officer, to show up? Explain everything? Remind the cops about those pictures they took that documented the earlier attack? Review Trouble's previous statement? End up getting it stripped down to probation, community service and a closed record because Landry's a juvenile?  No. They put the goddamn bastard in the back seat of Landry's station wagon, with the apparent intention of taking him to the hospital, but when he stops breathing, they stop on the bridge over the river. Landry starts to call his dad on his cell phone, but Trouble rips the phone out of his hands. They're both crying, shaking. Christ, what a mess. Trouble looks over the bridge into the dark, rushing river. Landry shakes his head and says, "We can't." Trouble looks up at him and says, "What else are we gonna do?" So, what, they dumped the body in the river!?! What. The. Fuck? Here's a case where I can't help but wonder, W.W.R.D.? Had it been Tim instead of Landry, I think it's possible it might have ended with the goddamn bastard beaten bloody but still alive, hog-tied up with bungee cord in the back of Tim's truck and hand-delivered to the Dillon police with a note pinned to his chest that read, "Don't mess with Texas."

It's the first time I can ever remember worrying that the writers might have screwed something up. There was plenty of drama inherent in the situation without adding that to the mix, y'all. It just doesn't feel right. We know from the previous attack that Landry can't keep a secret to save his life, so Lord only knows how long he'll be able to stay quiet about it. I know, I know -- they're young, they were scared, they acted on impulse. None of which excuses dumping a body in the river. But remember, this is the show that kicked off last season with life-altering tragedy, and we all happily climbed aboard, so… keep the faith! Clear eyes, full hearts, can't send Landry to prison! We've got a ways to go with this one, folks. Grab the Jesus bar and hang on; it might be a bumpy ride.

"YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME; I DON'T WANT TO JUST… LOSE YOU" -- It's not the same as facing a stretch at McLennan County State Juvenile Correctional Facility or a rap sheet for obstructing justice like Landry and Trouble, but The Cute is having its own share of difficulties. As Tami explains it to Eric, Julie's "dating the Saracen and flirting with the Swede." My Ever-Patient Mister, who's smart about these things, says, "This is an anti-football thing. She's mad at her daddy and taking it out on Matt." Eric's come around on old Matt, and when he runs into Matt and his grandmother (Hi, Grandma! Missed you!) at the grocery store, he gives both of them a hug. Between the hair up to there and the burr of stubble, Kyle Chandler's various follicles seems to be shouldering much of the expressive burden for the obviously exhausted Eric. Don't get me wrong, he still looks positively edible; I'm just saying the newborn baby/rebellious teen twofer is wearing him out. After talking around the Swede issue in that guy way they have, Eric says, "Don't just stand by and watch it happen." Good advice, Coach! Matt takes it to heart and invites Julie to a party at a lake -- it looks like it might be Lake Threesome, where Tim took Jason and Lyla last year -- on Thursday night, but Julie already told the Swede she'd go see his band play at a bar called The Bend that night. She verbally flips off her dad when he tries to lay down the curfew law, then ditches Lois, who has sense enough to realize that The Bend's not really the place for 16-year-olds to hang out. Julie is undaunted, though, and when the Swede performs, I can kind of see why, though given his exuberant perspiration, I'm gonna have to change his name to the Sweaty. He seems genuinely pleased to see her, then introduces her to…his girlfriend. Whoops! Oh, ouch. Still, you've got steak at home, girl, why would you want to go out for hamburger? Eric comes to pick Julie up and shows her where she got her stubborn streak from as he refuses to go anywhere until she tells him what the hell's going on with her, and with Matt. It takes a few false starts, but nobody can resist Kyle Chandler Eric when he's like this. I know I'd crumble like a cracker! She finally chokes out, "I see him turning into you, and me turning into Mom, and that terrifies the crap out of me. There has to be more than this, and I feel so guilty for feeling like this." Eric does that dad thing he does sooo well, and tells her nobody's going to love her less if she breaks up with Matt. And the other guy? "To hell with him." Then he says, "You're all right. It's all good." What a good guy. What a good dad. Like Julie, I miss having him around.

"JUST SO YOU KNOW, YOU'RE STILL #1, STILL THE BEST I EVER HAD" -- I saved the best for last. Y'all know I love me some Tim/Lyla. I love me some OT3 even more, but I'll take what I can get. Lyla gets herself baptized (my guess is for the second time, in a ritual of born-again-againness) at the same place on the river where Landry and Trouble apparently tossed the body of the goddamn bastard. Life, death, rebirth -- wow, they're really going deep this season. Lyla joins a group called Christian Teen Messengers, and as she's leaving CTM flyers on cars in the grocery store parking lot, she meets up with Tim and his smokin' hot guns, displayed to awesome advantage by a black muscle shirt. See?

screencap courtesy of Princess And The Rebel

Nice, huh? When Tim asks, "Where's my flyer, Garrity?" Lyla says, "There's no one who would be happier to save your soul than me." He asks if she's joined a cult or something, so she tells him about getting baptized and accepting Christ as her personal Lord and Savior, then asks what he did recently. "I had a threeway with the Stratton sisters," he says with a sly grin. Oh, Timmy, never change. As she's about to turn away, he tells her she's still the best he ever had. Since she apparently tops a list of thousands, that's quite a compliment, though she doesn't take it that way. As she leaves, Tim says, "Enjoy Jesus!" She sasses back, "Enjoy your depraved hedonism!" Hee. If it's hot on the gridiron, it's even hotter in that parking lot -- those two strike sparks just looking at each other. I'm a little giddy at the thought that they might go there again. Hey, producers, if you're taking votes, here's mine: HELL YES.

"WEST TEXAS HEROES - DILLON PANTHERS '06" -- I thought for a while there that I'd escape the season premiere without having to break into the brick of Kleenex boxes I stocked up on at Costco, but no. Before he leaves for Austin, Coach Taylor attends a ring ceremony town-wide pep rally at the stadium, where he presents state championship rings to our Panthers. Taylor introduces each player, gives them their rings and sends them off to have their pictures taken with a Boo(hiss)ster. The last ring is the one that starts the waterworks at my house: it's for Jason, who wears it around his neck on a chain because he can't unclench his hands enough to get it on his finger. Oh, Jason. Oh, boys. Oh, Dillon, I've missed you. The episode ends with Coach T flying away from his team, his family, and his town, looking out the plane window at the brightly lit stadium far below, headed back to something that can't be nearly as good as what he just left. Come back soon, Coach! We need you!