Semi-Finals: Round 1

I'm an idiot. I thought the semi-finals, or what we've seen of them so far, would be different than the four auditions we've already sat through. Notice I said "different", not "better".

So I wondered: would a big studio instead of a cramped space at Disney-MGM Studios give the perfomers (and our judges) some room to loosen up? Would the presence of a studio audience inspire our aspiring celebrity apers to push the acts a bit further? With only about 3 minutes for each act, not so much, no.

I have to confess that I'm a little more cheesed than normal because I was late getting home. As my DVR is out until next week, I actually had to watch the broadcast in real time (who has a VCR anymore?). I don't think I missed much, though I so would have liked to see Trent Carlini's Elvis, John Morgan's President Bush, and the fabulous Tina Turner. Alas, I got in just in time for Suzanne Larusch as Lucille Ball of "I Love Lucy". She has the audience cracking up as she goes tries to sell a can of what appears to be tinned fennel and baby spew. She's great, as before, though I don't remember her looking so much like Tammy Faye Bakker previously. Apparently, I'm the only one spooked by the resemblance, as the judges make no mention of it.

Buck McCoy's Tim McGraw is a little less successful, as the singing voice isn't as strong as the judges would prefer but his impersonation does show the improvement and energy a live audience can inspire.

Natalie Reed's Paris Hilton is back, again with a magic trick that doesn't quite make it, but that's the point? Also, there's a hot shirtless guy helping her out, which is never a bad thing. Elon found that he was nauseous and turned on by her at the same time, so she must be good, right?

Shania Twain is back, in fine body if not quite as fine voice.

Jay Leno's performance may not have been as good as his audition, Elon felt, though Lisa Ann thought he was fine enough. It doesn't help as much, though, when she says that the success of his performance depends on whether or not you actually like Jay Leno. And I'm not a fan, but I thought his lame jokey monologue was a spot-on impression.

Brigitte Valdez as Celine Dion is to me eerie in that it's good, but almost a little robotic. Like she a lot of her free time just 'being' Celne by herself. The judges loved her rendition of "Because You Loved Me", but will the voting audience?

Bono is back, wearing an (INSPI)RED t-shirt and purple-tinted shades. Again, why doesn't he sing an actual U2 song? Is it easier to sort of fake your way through "Unfortunate Son", much like your audition piece, "Unchained Melody"?

Simon Cowell starts easy with some jokes about American Idol judges Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul. It's funny, though I would have expected more bite (or at least a snipe at Ryan Seacrest).

Chris America has spent the last 20 years working as a Madonna impersonator. Which is all well and good, but why is she still dressing like Madonna from 20 years ago? Also, her "Borderline" was a bit anemic. I guess this impersonation gig is a young person's game.

Clips of semi-finalists Al Pacino (Craig Gass) and one of the Robin Williams are aired, though they were not moved on by the judges. Boo hoo.

The semi-finalists appear on-stage with Michelle, who calls them forward into a spotlight to tell them whether or not they are one of the five finalists chosen that night (the other five will be chosen in the next episode, airing two weeks from now). Our finalists are:

• Elvis Presley
• Tina Turner
• Paris Hilton
• President Bush
• Lucille "I Love Lucy" Ball

Five episodes down, three to go...