The Simple Life Goes to Camp: Flirting with Disaster

In order to test the counselors’ emergency skills, Big Chief Al places some snakes in one of the cabins at Camp Shawnee.  Hunter and Paris are sent to wrangle them up, and while Hunter gets a little squeamish, animal lover Paris channels Britney Spears circa her “Slave 4 U” days, wrapping a snake around her neck.

With Pageant Camp all wrapped up and the snakes captured, it’s on to Camp Love with psychologist and love counselor Dr. Diana.  Dr. Diana says this camp is about love building and boosting.  Couples of all ages and types are bussed in to work on their relationships, including Linda and Joe who have been together 43 years and want to curb their bickering; on again/off again Scott and Peter who have fidelity issues; and Nick and Phoebe who have responsibility problems.

Kathy Hilton, looking every bit a perfect plastic surgery poster child, stops by to check if the girls are behaving themselves, while Dr. Diana leads group therapy with the couples.  The focus is sex, with each couple instructed to say what they love about each other.  Paris and Nicole are left to facilitate this exercise and end up coaching the couples into saying ridiculous things.  Highlights: Linda telling Joe she loves it doggy style and Joe saying he loves Linda’s perfect boobs (especially when she shakes ‘em).  To the joy of the campers, Dr. Diana distributes sex toys and encourages each couple to experiment in order to retain a healthy sexual relationship.

Sporting a flesh-colored spandex suit, Matt lets the girls draw erogenous zones on him to show the couples how to best get each other aroused (and, eww, gets a little excited himself!).

All this talk of love and sex has Nicole’s mind working overtime.  She takes pity on Hunter and tries to style him more to Paris’ liking (leather, chains, bandana), but Hunter’s had enough with Nicole’s tips and says if Paris can’t like him for who he is, he’s just going to have to live with that.  Nicole relays this info to Paris who’s glad to see Hunter isn’t a pushover.

In preparation of date night, and in between Nicole’s hilarious sexual advances towards little old Joe, Paris and Nicole give the boys bikini waxes to surprise their significant others.  Nicole goes for the gold, getting the most tucked away areas and even says she waxed away a “poo crumb” with all that hair (gross!).

The couples meet up for date night and the boys present the girls/boy bouquets of flowers.  As everyone settles into their candlelit meals, Hunter hits on one of the wait staff to Paris’ jealous dismay.  While Hunter and the girl awkwardly flirt about wine and couscous, Nicole convinces Paris to giving Hunter another chance.  But when Paris trots off to find Hunter, she stumbles upon him kissing Miss Wine Server and walks away defeated and sad—the perfect episode closing to lead into her apparent release from jail tomorrow!

Next week: Paris opens up to the campers about her sex tape, Nicole saws Big Chief Al’s desk in half and Camp Love continues.