rewind! recap! regurgitate: cock of the rock

The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency books its first fashion show for Virgin Megastore's new line of rock n' roll clothing. Big yawn -- I've seen the clothes they already do sell at the Virgin Megastore in Chicago, you're better off getting your shit for cheaper at Hot Topic. Anyway, stylist/"producer" Niki and market manager Chip come over to book the models and go over the job with Janice.

That being said, hello drag queens! Janice gets some real live drag queens, Megan Brooks and Phoenix, to teach the models how to walk. The men, including booker Kodi, are skeptical -- how can two drag queens teach "real" men how to walk? That question, along with many others (like "Who names their kid Kodi with a K and I?") goes unquestioned as the models put on their tough faces and stomp down the runway. Then the smiling Bellytwins come in to teach the models how to be more comfortable in their bodies. Why the models had to strip down to their underwear is anybody's guess, but whatever -- the guys looked HAWT.

Kaje Boutique. Day of show. The fitting for the show goes less well than the booking, as Janice complains about Niki being behind scheduled and disorganized, and then loudly protests every single outfit put together by Niki. Niki refuses to listen, or to back down. Everything "is gonna be rock n' roll", according to Niki, if by rock n' roll you mean "even underage hookers don't wear shit this ugly." I have to give Niki for sticking to her guns, but I'd have to reconsider my choice of career if I dressed like I took my cues from not one but both of the Olsen Twins.

To add insult to injury, Niki coaches the models to do "rock" poses (crawling, air guitar) during the run-through. Kinda cheesy but well-done, though in the kind of way that high school talent shows are fun. What is this, "Made"? I don't care if there was a light grid, those tinsel decorations on stage weren't distracting from the fact that you are mounting a fashion show in a retail outlet that might as well be in the suburbs. Janice emphasizes to her models that they walk like the supermodels they believe they are, while Niki insists that she runs the show and that Janice is just the emcee. In the end, it didn't matter what kind of moves they pulled, as long as there was some media to capture it.